Why I’ll Give My Kids Embarrassing Middle Names


Naveed doesn’t have a middle name.
I think it’s weird.
There…I said it. It’s weird. 

I like my middle name. 
Rebecca. 
For years I liked it better than my first name.

In my household, middle names were only used for discipline.
If I was being bad, you can bet I got “NADINEREBECCA.”
Middle name = trouble.
That’s why, whenever I’m mad at Nav, I make up a middle name for him.
It’s funny and it breaks the tension. Plus I’m super creative with the name game.

For that reason, and the fact that you don’t use middle names much, 
I’ve plotted to give my children mildly embarrassing middle names.
Just mildly embarrassing. We aren’t trying to give them too much therapy material.

Will it not make the discipline easier 
if they desperately don’t want me to drop their middle name in public? 
It’s a genius plan folks, and I urge you to get on board.

I had a friend in college who had a hilarious middle name.
It always made us chuckle.
And remember Chandler’s (Friends reference, duh) middle name?
Muriel. 

So their first names are going to be all class.
Now obviously, I’m not going to tell you because I don’t want you to steal my baby names.
But I will say that Naveed and I have discussed a theme for the middle names of all of our (long in the future) children. Cause that’s the kind of stuff we do on long car rides. Or 10pm trips to taco bell.

Here are some great ones we’ve come up with:

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme (Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Donatello, and Raphael)
Bands of the 70’s and 80’s theme (Hall, Oates, Duran, Jovi)
Names of buildings on our college campuses theme (Shields, Ryland, Wellman)

And the one Naveed would never agree to but I would just love:

Harry Potter theme (Dumbledore, Hermione, Ronald, Severus, Minerva)

What are your thoughts on middle names? You don’t really use them, right?
May as well have a little fun…

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