I’m Not Stressed About Our Wedding

bride and groom

I don’t find wedding planning stressful.

I’m seriously concerned that this means that I’m doing it all wrong, forgetting something major, or just generally am planning the worst wedding in the history of the world.

I read these articles about how stressful wedding planning is. My coworker insists that she was a neurotic mess leading up to her wedding. And I’m just looking around going “I should be freaking out and WHY AM I NOT?!”

It probably helps that I refuse to acknowledge The Knot’s checklist as being an actual thing. I got engaged on a Saturday, made an account on Sunday, and somehow already had 37 overdue tasks. That’s when I decided to take everything they tell me with a grain of salt.

So instead, I stick to the “essentials” checklist and that seems to keep The Knot in check. No, I don’t need two makeup trials. I probably won’t even do one. Bridal shower? No. Guest book? No. Favors? No. Fancy cake? No. Expensive shoes that no one will really see? Absolutely not.

We just did things in the order we felt like they needed to be done.

It seemed like we should find a venue first, and we did. We found a caterer. We chose our menu and our alcohol. I ordered my dress (after trying on like 100). We booked a photographer and a DJ. We reserved blocks of hotel rooms for guests.

So we wouldn’t be slammed all at once, we made payment plans with almost everyone.

I don’t know, I’m just confused about what to be stressed about. Most days I completely forget that we’re planning a wedding. Then someone will enthusiastically ask me, “so how’s wedding planning going?!” And I’m like, hm, maybe there’s something I should be doing. And then there isn’t. It helps that our engagement is 13 months long, so we’ve got some time (though now we’re down to 7 months).

No one told me that when planning a wedding, it’s a lot of “hurry up and wait”. Once all the big things are booked, there isn’t much to do until closer to the wedding when (allegedly) suddenly there will be 4,000 things to do all at once. I will forget half of them and am still somehow not worried.

I don’t want to think I have it under control if I don’t, but it kind of feels like I do.

Except the writing the ceremony and vows part. That we haven’t even started. Oh, the vows are the most important part? Right! Duh, we totally know that. We’ll probably work on those the weekend before.

And what if I told you that they’ll probably be a lot like this? Because I’m pretty sure we said it before they did…

leslieknopeben vows

I’ll make sure to write an update to this post two weeks before the wedding when I’m having a meltdown from all the stress and have realized that I completely forgot something major.

If you’ve planned a wedding, tell me, did you forget anything? At what point should I start freaking out?


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