The Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Boyfriend

The beau inevitably falls asleep before I do. And when he does, I occasionally look over at him. In a loving way, of course. But then I catch a glimpse of his long, black eyelashes and I can feel it happening. I start to hate him just a little. 

Because even in his sleep, his eyelashes are 100 times more divine than mine will ever be. He literally has multiple rows, Elizabeth Taylor style. That feeling fades when I realize that our future daughter could have those. 


These are the kinds of stories that you just don’t tell your boyfriend
Only I did. Because I always do. 

I’m constantly guilty of word vomit. Some things you just need to keep to your dang self! I need to learn that. But living together just opened to floodgates and now I’m that girlfriend who overshares.

Here are some other “dont’s” that I most definitely “do”:

Never point out the fact that you tell the dog “I love you” literally 27 times a day while he gets maybe 3 or 4. Just don’t say a word about it and hope he doesn’t notice.

Never let him hear you singing a variation of the Thong Song to the dog, while replacing the word Thong with the word Kong. Just don’t. 

That Kong-Ka-Kong-Kong-Kong

Since we’re on the topic of dogs, there is absolutely no need to respond to anything that your boyfriend might say to the dog, as the dog. For instance:

Nav: “Come on, Arch. Let’s get ready for bed. We’re going outside.”
Nadine as Archie: “No, Dad. I’s comfortable right where I is. I yuv my Momma and I’s staying wif her.”

He pretends to find this endearing. But is it? Um, no. Direct quote from Nav: “Since getting a dog you talk in a baby voice a lot more than I thought you would.”

Um, yeah, sorry about that. Only I’m probably not going to stop.

Just as it isn’t endearing when I go into elaborate detail about my love for dry shampoo and why I don’t need to wash my hair everyday. Or when I when I ponder aloud to myself what underwear is appropriate to wear under work out leggings (the ultimate unanswered question. email me if you have figured this out). Or when I start the 20th conversation about what to wear to his friends wedding next month. 

So what can we surmise from this mostly pointless post? Our dog is ruining our relationship making things more interesting. And my boyfriend is my best friend. But clearly I need more girl friends. 

Speaking of girl friends, it’s my pleasure to introduce you to Kendahl from As Told By Kendahl.


First of all, how puurrdy is this lady? She sent me this pic to use and I was like, damn girl! Kendahl is one of my faves because she’s great at making poignant observations about life. 

Example: Last week she wrote a psudo rant where she mentioned that her man sometimes just leaves used paper towels on the counter. And I kid you not, I caught Nav doing it that very same day. Come to realize, he does it all the time! Kendahl, I have no idea how I didn’t notice that before but now it drives me nuts.

Kendahl admits that she uses abbrevs in real life conversation, is addicted to tv, and she too talks to her dog like he’s a real human baby (see? It’s normal!). You can also check her out with nearly ever hair color in this post, while also reading a moving, honest, and hopeful letter to her 17 year old self. And I think those three words are a great way to describe Kendahl herself. So head over to As Told By Kendahl and check her out!


And lastly, a little surprise for you. $50 Visa Gift Card, anyone? 






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  • I’m totally guilty of telling the dog I love her more times than my Husband.
    Love the Colington Cafe!

  • This cracks me up. My bf always gives me sideways looks for things I do and say. It’s just part of our charm, no?

  • hahaha i am so guilty of this. and my husband has super long eyelashes. grrr. not fair.

  • Haha this is so funny! I sing to the dogs also but then again so does my hubby 🙂

    -Sharon
    The Tiny Heart
    Target Giveaway!

  • I did not realize used paper towels on the counter were a THING until I read it here! My husband does it ALL the time, and I don’t think he even notices it…and he is a total neat freak, so I really don’t get this quirk. At least he’s not the only one!!! LOL!

  • Love that Kong Song….bhahahahahahahhaah

  • Isn’t it crazy how most guys have such long beautiful eyelashes and women have to work for theirs!!

  • I am guilty of the overshare as well. As for the dog, well, not only do I talk and sing to him, but, I make him dance. And, to that my husband says, “Then we wonder why the dog is crazy”. To that I say, “pshhh”. You and your boyfriend make a lovely couple!

    xx

  • I was just at the dentist and we were talking about how boys have longer eyelashes and how it’s not fair! Also, my bf gets so mad that I snuggle with and say “I love you” to my cat more than him. Oops!

  • I’m definitely an over sharer with my boyfriend too. I feel the need to tell him every thought that pops in my head…it gets really embarrassing. Sometimes I wonder how I still have friends at all haha

  • I talk to my hedgehog like that all the time. Last night I told him I love you and my husband looked up and said I love you too. Instead of just going along with it like a smart person I said “uhh I wasn’t talking to you. but yeah, love you”

  • I would go get a much needed haircut!

  • HAHHAAHA omg I respond for the dog to Evan too!!!! I thought I was the only weirdo out there. But I do it in this weird “golden retriever” voice (you know, a little dumb sounding).

  • why do men have such beautiful lashes?! it drive me cray cray

  • I hope he doesn’t read this, haha!

    xx
    Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

  • Hahaha! Talking for our puppies is a must! I have word vomit bad too.. not in the best times either! I don’t even think my fiance listens anymore ha!

  • Hahha I do these things too. I finally told my husband, look I have no other girls in this house to ask about my outfits so you are just going to have to deal. And the paper towels! My lanta, just throw them away!!

  • I used to video my dog and then remove the audio and speak over the top and send it to my boyfriend. He found it hilarious, but not as much as I did. I had to stop before he thought he was dating the dog and not me…

    😛

  • Hilarious. And the answer is Commando 😉

  • See, I think the opposite. Say weird things to your boyfriend to determine if he’s a keeper.

    😉

    XO,
    Samm
    http://www.dysfunctionaleverafter.com

  • Hahah, my hubby and I actually speak to our dog in our own little language. We imagine that she has a lisp and thats how we speak to her…its adorable!!! Yes, I totally go commando in work out pants…not so much shorts, but pants totally!!!!

    xo Dinah @ sunshine super glam

  • If your boyfriend is like mine, he just kind of tunes out convos about dresses to weddings etc… thats how they tolerate us 🙂

  • Why do guys always get the amazing eyelashes?

  • i’m lovin the kong song! hilarious. that’s what sisqo shoulda went with..

  • I would save it, I am in 4 weddings this year and need money:)

  • shoot…guilty guilty guilty. i have a bad case of word vomit. if i do something bad and i promise myself i won’t tell my husband, it’s the first thing that comes out of my mouth when i get home. i need some self control!

  • haha I’m an over sharer too. It’s terrible but I think my husband, family, and friends are used to it by now. I fear how much I’ll talk to our future puppy (this summer!!! a golden) since my mom talks to her dog alllll the time. Like they’re tight!

  • haha love this. i sing to my dogs constantly (imagine having 2 dogs – twice the craziness slips out!) i think he is just used to it now, so that’s good. and my fiance also has crazy beautiful eyelashes and super thick hair and i always yell at him about it. so rude!
    jackiejade.blogspot.com
    please vote! shoe styling contest

  • If I were to win, I would get some new clothes! I talk to and sing to my doggies too:). They LOVE it! What’s not to love!!!!!

  • Haha! I just heard my boyfriend talk to one of our dogs in a baby voice! “You wanna go swim min'”. Too funny!!!!!

  • Love me some Kendahl! And we BOTH talk as Cody sometimes. It is SO funny too!! Nav should get in board with that. And I over share everrryyyything.

  • With my $50 VISA Gift Card: I would buy Sisqo’s Thong Song Album then buy several stamps and a large envelope and address it specifically to Archie and tell him not to tell mom or dad he received it. Then, when you are least expecting it, he will play thong, thong thong thong. All replaced with Kong of course.

    Good thing I never win anything ever, because that would be a large waste of money.

  • Oh Nadine, always making me laugh! I’m with everyone else, it’s totes normal to baby talk the fur babies uncontrollably and commando is the only way to go with workout leggings. I’m thinking $50 would be best spent on a mani/pedi or new haircut!
    ♥alycia – cupofting.com

  • Workout commando. Good leggings have a gusset in them to prevent seams from interfering with lady bits! I’m totally that woman who inspects the crotch on the inside of every pair of leggings I buy. Shameless.

  • I tell B that I want his legs (they are super skinny and muscular) and lips (much fuller than mine). He think it’s really strange, but I tell him anyways. 🙂

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