That’s How You Got Here?!

Last night I had the biggest WTF moment in my blogging career. 


Prior to Venus and Helene announcing that we were going to share the craziest searches that have lead to our blogs, I had never tapped this gold mine of entertainment. 

I didn’t even know how to find it.

At first I was like, they’re here! I don’t care how they got here!


And now I realize there are some people I’d rather not find my blog.
Like the person who searched the last one on this list. You can leave now.

So with that, I give you the weirdest things people have searched to find my blog:

16 year old girl bathroom selfie
Um? I’m not 16, nor do I take bathroom selfies. Though maybe I should start. 

how to act like a blonde
I can teach you how to act like a klutz, for sure. 
Or how to look like you have your shit together.
But shhh the blonde is mostly fake at this point.

can you just erase your middle name
No. Middle names are important for scolding purposes.
That’s why I made one up for the beau, who doesn’t have one.

east is east, blonde friend
Why yes, yes it is.

fiance at bachelor party and never calls
Yikes! Mine was in Mexico but still called. Good luck with that.

free blonde nadin pics
ew.

how to be girlfriend material
Probably not the best source for this.
Exhibit A.

how to not be girlfriend material
Clearly we’ve got mixed feelings about what we want to be.
But this I’ve got some experience with

what is the boob test for your hair?
If you didn’t learn it by 8th grade, you don’t need it now.

i found a bug stinger in my head
Not my problem. Call your doctor. 

the crazies sorority girl ever
Na, that’s not me. It might be Kaylin though.

pictures of people stuck in a elevator freaking out
Well, I can help you there.

i peed my pants in an elevator
Alright, let’s not get crazy. I didn’t pee. 

i’m in love with a Mormon blog
Woof. Good luck with that. 
In my experience, those Mormon ladies get snatched up pretty quickly.

And the most wildly inappropriate award goes to 
the delightful person who searched this and found my blog:

make love and shit at same time

What. The. ?
Welp, that’s my cue to get out of here. 

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Venus Trapped in Mars

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YOU MIGHT LIKE:
  • Bhahahah I am dying. Like seriously. And it just might be me…which way is curato from here?

  • These are hysterical!!

  • My only question to you: Did you google make love and shit at the same time just to see what it brought them to? I mean, I’m just curious. Asking for a friend, she wants to know.

    • I thought this exact same thing.

  • HAHA that last one is too funny!!

  • ahhhh yours were awesome!!! so hilarious about the last one. and scary and yes please get off my blog freak.

  • hahaha love these! i have gotten some SUPER weird ones. but mostly i get ppl looking for redheads. ppl looking to learn how to install wood paneling (ew. i made fun of it once).

  • ahahahahhaaaa one of mine is “booty talk 87”. Huh? I wasn’t even born in 1987!

  • that is SO FUNNY. i am dying over here.

  • I’ve had some funny ones, but I never kept track of them. I use WordPress, so it only shows the most recent search terms for the day of and day prior (I think!) These are pretty hilarious!

  • oh god I needed a good laugh today. I doubt I have these kinds of things since my blog is so new, but I honestly don’t wanna find out

  • HAHAHA. These are hilarious–and sort of crazy! I mean, that last one–the things people google…

  • ahah, these killed me. especially that last one. Are you sure that you didn’t write a post on that?

  • That last one cracked me up. People are so weird on google.

  • I laughed SO loud at “free blonde nadin pics!” good thing i’m home alone. The good news is these things are often spam and not true like the fake porn “referral links” that come spam your numbers…

  • I am laughing out loud as I type this. Hilarious. People are strange.

  • Those are funny. But the last one… just how!

  • Hahaha these have me rolling. People are so weird.

  • The last one.

    WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU….?!

  • Oh…..my…..god…………..My day is complete now.

  • Okay, some people just amaze me…like wow!!! I just cracked my shit up at work…at my desk…

    xo Dinah @ sunshine super glam

  • Cracking up! Yours are so hilarious and that last one, WTF! I’m going to search mine now lol

  • Oh my gosh!! How do you look for that??

  • Hahaha! Checking my traffic source is one of my favorite parts of my day! Let’s see, the best one on my current blog: horny serial killers. By several people, ew. Oh, and on my old blog my faves were: brownie turds and fat arm crease. Hahahaha!!

  • I needed this. It’s about the funniest thing I have seen all day!!

  • I seriously just laughed out loud at my desk. People are looking at me funny.

  • Oh my word! These are too great! I love looking at how people found my blog – though I definitely don’t have as awesome searches as you do!

  • Oh.My.Goodness. I am just AMAZED at what people search online! Awesome entertainment for posts like this, though!

  • I read this while I was getting my hair done and I was dying. I need to go figure out how I can find mine.

  • Haha yours are so good!! I don’t know what the hair test for boobs is. I should google it!

  • You DID take airport bathroom selfies, but we can blame that on the meds. And OMG I just died laughing out loud at work and people were looking. Who in this world needs or wants to know how to so that!?! Good lord.

  • How do you find out your search words??! Hah. These are hysterical!

  • hahaha! that last one was hilarious. i’m seriously concerned for humanity reading all the searches that people do!

  • Those are all pretty funny!

  • I laughed the whole way through!

  • TOI

    i laughed at some but some where too spooky for my taste.

  • HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I can’t get over some of these!! Hilarious.

  • bahahahahhahahahhahahhah! that last one got a howl out of me!

  • Dammit Nadine now I have to do this linkup, SO funny! And I have a new obsession with GIFS haha so funny.

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