That’s how you got here?!

 

Periodically, I like to look through the search terms in Google Analytics to see how people got to my blog. It’s always good for a laugh. Maybe I’m missing how Google works but, how did these search terms even lead people to my blog? Whatever, it’s worth it for the entertainment value. Some of them were too good not to share. Enjoy.

emma stone laughing

taza and husband hate – Hate? More like love.

delta gamma dirty song – Alright, alright, you came to the right place.

how to not have a pinterest wedding – If only more people were googling this. Pinterest ruined weddings, after all.

lds modest fashion blog – There are generally a lot of searches for “mormon” and “lds” thrown in there. Maybe it’s because of this post?

sexy ass over 30 years old – Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s not jump the gun here. I’ll take the first half but reminder, I’m 26.

are people cooler than me? – Yes. And here are 10 People Who Are Cooler than Me.

back east blonde pregnant – Is my winter weight showing? I need it for warmth (at least that’s what I tell myself). I’m pregnant with a food baby made of pizza.

insults for bitches who want to take my man – Hellz to the yeah. Except I’m really not good at this kind of stuff.

Nadine in yoga pants – Oooh flattering. I think N would like to see Nadine in something other than yoga pants.

leggings are not pantsI AGREE.

howgrow boob – lolz

fat golden retriever cartoon – Ahem, Archie is at a perfectly reasonable weight. Rude. Although I did get a cartoon made of him once.

neighbor hogs the laundry – I am that neighbor. I get the dirty looks. Whoops.

should i leave my husband to move to California – Um. How about no? Well there’s something N never has to worry about. Here’s why I left California and here are some reasons I still don’t miss California.

Something so dirty I can’t even type it here. I don’t want to get blocked from your work computer or anything. Use your imagination.

pinterest is ruining my life – You know that what you do on the internet is voluntary right? See that little “x” in the corner of the screen? Or a little red dot? Click that.

my mom without a shirt – Get your ass to a therapist. NOW.

what if a mormon missionary comments on how beautiful you are – I hear they’re nice boys. Maybe a thank you?

should i date a guy i work with? – It worked out for me. What’s the worst that can happen? Oh, you could break up and then every day, 40 hours a week, would be super awkward. It’s a coin toss. But in case you’re still debating it, here are 7 reasons you should date a guy from work.

What’s the funniest search term your blog has ever gotten?

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  • Haha! These are wonderful. And also kind of weird.

  • Oh my word. Yeah. Just a bit creepy some of those…

    • If I coiuanmcmted I could thank you enough for this, I’d be lying.

  • “Bloated Chihuahua” and “Chola Girl with a Gun”…… 😐

    Uhhh……I got nothing.

    xo Denise
    lovelybohemian.blogspot.com

  • JC

    Mine are no where near as hilarious as yours. I even looked!

  • I just posted something similar to this- somebody had stumbled upon my blog by searching “is elfie in kitty heaven” …which is my cats name. Not cool!

  • HAHA! So funny. Some of those are definitely weird. I also find some of the things Google tries to complete my sentence with when I search for something a bit odd… I’m still new to blogging so I don’t have many incoming search terms, but I do have one person who found me from “stuck up girls”. Wah. 🙁 lol!

  • I check mine every so often. I can’t remember them right now, but some have just made me scratch my head.

  • Oh my gosh I love this. I still haven’t figured out how to track down my google searches that take people to my blog but I definitely want to after reading this! Also, just read your link to why you should date someone you work with. Totally met my husband at work, we shared a cubicle. It was fantastic and I recommend it to all my gf’s. Not to mention we worked in HR so totally laughed out loud at the background check. LOVE IT! XXOO

  • So many Mormon-related search words! Goes to show that they really rulez blogland!

  • My best ever search term was “got drunk and told my husband I lived as a lesbian.” I’ve never been drunk. Never had a husband. And I’ve never lived as a lesbian. I have NO IDEA how that search landed someone on MY blog. But it was dang funny!

  • Z

    I can only see so many of my search terms since so many of them are hidden by wordpress, but I love these! I get weird ones every once and a while, haha.

  • I am not cool enough to get many search terms. But yesterday someone from the Ukraine looked at my blog with encrypted search terms. Maybe not funny as much as it is a helpful tip for my husband where to look if I disappear soon.

  • I sincerely wish that every time a search term led someone to a blog, the searcher’s photo was taken and uploaded next to their keywords. I really want to meet the people who put this stuff in a search engine!

  • I lost it at “howgrow boob”. The most bizarre search I ever had was “places to have public sex in burnaby” which I obviously never wrote anything along the lines of that, let alone, about a city I don’t even live in!

  • A lot of my traffic comes from “What to wear to the Catalina Wine Mixer.”

    I consider it an honor.

  • I just had to look at mine, and I came across ‘if my moms brother is my dads uncle how are we related’ …… THERE IS NO INBREEDING IN MY FAMILY!!!! Why would someone google that, let alone why did it link to my blog?! >.<

  • “slung over shoulder put me down” has been my funniest entry this week. Still trying to figure out how that one pointed someone in my direction. Yours have cracked me up!

  • Oh my gosh I loved these!! Mine are definitely not as interesting as yours. I’m very curious what the inappropriate one was, also I would love to know howgrow boob as well, I have always pondered that question…

  • This is amazing, I need to do one of these next week – thanks for the inspiration!

  • Those are hilarious! I am curious about what the one is that you couldn’t type. I haven’t really looked at my search terms for quite a while. Now I must!

  • I once had someone find me via “Katniss with a pug face”… i want to find and befriend them. That shiz is awesome!
    xx

  • Pretty! This was an extremely wonderful post.

    Many thanks for supplying this information.

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