Reader Questions Answered: Tough Stuff

I promised I wouldn’t shy away from the reader questions that made me uncomfortable. These questions aren’t bad, they’re just harder to answer. They’re the ones that made my stomach do a little flip when I read them. And maybe for that reason, they’re the ones that need to be answered most.

Reader  Questions - Tough Stuff

Do you read GOMI? And does it affect your writing? Do you ever post to it?

I do read GOMI occasionally. I don’t have a username and have never posted to it. A thread was created for my blog a while back and I read a few of the comments but decided that, for me, it was best not to read what was written about me and my blog.

The thing about GOMI is, sometimes they are right. It hurt to read but some of the things they said about my blog were true. What I read did affect my writing a bit (which I didn’t like) and made me a little self-conscious. Realistically, not everyone is going to like me (and hey, some people might really dislike me/my writing/my blog/my personality) and there isn’t much I can do about that.

By putting my life online, I leave myself open to both kindness and criticism. I made that choice.

I know that you’ve written a bit about how you want to be engaged to N. Why aren’t you? What is holding you back?

To put it bluntly: Finances. We aren’t struggling, by any means, but N is very financially responsible (I am too). He isn’t going to bottom out his savings account to buy me a ring. And I don’t want him to. I kind of feel like I’m always waiting for the worst to happen, in a financial sense. I’d rather we have a comfortable emergency fund and thus, peace of mind.

Even after that, we’d be paying for a wedding ourselves, something that we aren’t sure we can do (or want to do).

Does it bother you that you aren’t engaged yet?

Sometimes it does. But I appreciate that N is doing the right thing for us long-term by waiting until we are on really solid financial footing to put a ring on it.

How did you feel about the negative response from some bloggers to your tattoo post?

You know, the title was catchy but it did offend some people. That was stupid on my part. I worried before I posted it about sharing what would surely be an unpopular opinion. I answered nearly every comment (including the negative ones) as best I could and I think I did so in a respectful, open way. I still don’t like tattoos, but after reading so many (mostly thoughtful) comments, I’ve tried to enjoy the beauty and art in tattoos more than I did before. I also now know how much people hate the word hate. Even in my own daily speech, I’ve tried to use it less.

The thing is though, I don’t want to agree with everyone. Some of my favorite people in the world (my step-mom, for instance, who happens to have a tattoo) have polar opposite social, political, and religious views as me. And that’s okay! How weird would it be if we all had the same views and opinions on everything? It would suck! I don’t just read blogs written by people with my same style and opinions. That’s boring and that isn’t life. We can disagree on tattoos and lots of other things. It has not and will not stop me from reading someones blog or being their friend.

You used to answer comments a lot more often and I feel like you don’t anymore – why is that?

This is probably the question that made me feel the most sad. It’s where I feel like I’m failing as a blogger – because I am.

The reason for this is really two issues. One – my busiest time of year for my job is from about mid-January until April. The events that I’ve managed in that time have raised nearly $1 million for childhood cancer. I’m proud of that but my blog has been a bit lower on my priority list as a result.

The second reason it something I often wonder if other bloggers struggle with. It takes me for-freaking-ever to write a blog post. No joke, every post I write gets at least 10 major revisions before I ever post it. I’m an over-editor. Writing isn’t something I just spew out my fingers and hit publish. I over-think things and second guess myself constantly. It is a rare day that a blog post takes me less than an hour to write and publish.

Because content creation takes me so much time, I struggle to respond to comments. I go back and forth when I have a limited amount of time to work on my blog. Should I respond to comments? Or get started on tomorrow’s post? Usually it seems like I should keep up with content creation first. I wish I could figure out a way to speed up the process but for me, it’s a slow one.

I appreciate every comment and I’m truly sorry that I’ve sucked at responding in recent months. Cross my heart, I’m going to do better.

What are some of the major things going on in your life that you alluded to in your post this week?

You know, 2014 hasn’t been an easy one. I wish I could elaborate but I really can’t. Everyone has their bad days and I guess I’ve had a couple more than usual lately. I try not to show only the happy and fun parts of my life on this blog (though there is a lot of that) because that isn’t my life. So I guess I’d rather be a little (okay, a lot) vague than pretend everything is sunshine and rainbows all the time. It isn’t.

Phew. The tough stuff. Big. Deep. Breath. Thanks for sticking with me…

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