Phantom Stinger

Yesterday, I was in East Hampton (don’t I sound fabulous?) walking into a deli.
I was wearing something similar to what I was wearing in Friday’s post.
It was a boots/leggings situation.

So there I am pondering what the vegetarian options might be when suddenly…
I literally took one step and something flew/fell between my boot and my legging.
What was it, you might ask?
No clue.
I didn’t see a bee.
Or a bug of any kind.
There was no stinger in my skin.
There was no leaf or plant matter.
And yet I was bleeding.
It was instant, sharp stinging pain.
Being the super tough person that I am
(with incredibly high pain tolerance)
I handled it like an adult.
I’m a total mess and I ripped off my boot in the middle of the fancy deli and walked in my sock across the place to get a napkin to blot my barely bleeding phantom sting.

I half expected to find some dead bug in my boot once I ripped it off. But nothing. Absolutely nothing. I was bleeding and there was no evidence of what actually was the cause.

But guys, it continued to sting and burn for the whole day.
As I write this, it still stings and is sore. And now it’s really itchy too.
How can someone be stung by something that doesn’t exist!?

Here are my theories so far:

Aliens have implanted a tracking device in my skin to learn about human life.

The shooting plant from Jumanji actually exists and the mini version is growing in front of a deli in East Hampton.

Remember this? It shot poison but then eventually got big enough to eat people! 

God was getting bored of my blog and decided to spice things up a bit by giving me something to write about.

It wasn’t actually a sting but a mosquito with giant needle nose, making the chances of me getting West Nile Virus or whatever exponentially higher.

You be the judge of what you think might have stung me. Either way, I’m going to go tend to my wound. Pout. Pout.

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