Only On Paper

Today I filled out our official 6 page application for our new puppy.
You read that right, SIX pages.

The application listed more information about me than my credit history and included my embarrassing knowledge of gourmet dog food and the fact that my dog’s Godparents will be my younger brother and sister (at their request). 

Cause dogs need Godparents, apparently.
And the breeder really needed to know that.
I’ve thought this through, people.

Right before I sent it to the breeder, I read it over.
And I almost didn’t recognize us on paper.
Me: Program Director for a non-profit.
Him: Business Tax Analyst.
We have two college degrees.
And a fenced in yard.
Ho. Ly. Crap.
Who are those people?
Oh wait, it’s us.

Throughout the whole application I felt the need to add things that made me sound more like a grown up. I’d become convinced that the breeder would only see us as irresponsible kids. I felt like a 16 year-old defending myself. 

“But Mom, I swear I can handle watching this scary movie with my friends 
and I won’t be scared later.” 
(Lies. I’ll be terrified.)

As life goes on, I continue to feel like there are basic things I just don’t know how to do.
Things I should by now if I were to become an “official” grown up.

Like how to do eyeshadow.
Or go down to the basement alone.
Reach things without a step-stool.
(Oh wait, that will never change.)
Or do my hair without having to watch a “how to” video by a 15 year-old on Youtube.
Or start to actually like wine. 
I think its yucky. 
And the fact that I said yucky proves my point.
I’m not totally totally not a grown up yet.

Cheers to that.

You’re welcome for sharing this gem.
Happy Tuesday!

  • 6 pages? oh my goodness. Well, I’m glad that you’re responsible and have picked godparents.

  • honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever feel like an adult. I will be old and wrinkly in a rocking chair reading to my grandchildren and I’ll still feel small and awkward, like a little teenybopper. Anyway, that’s my theory.

    and geeeeesh, who is this breeder? All mine wanted was a security deposit…

  • I feel the exact same way. You and I are pretty similar, it sounds like! I also watch youtube videos for hair tutorials and makeup tutorials. I also can’t stand the taste of wine. I’ve tried so hard but I just can’t get with it!

  • SEL

    The going to the basement thing? Yup, I’m right there with you. I mean, it’s dark and cold and big and, I’m just a big baby about it.

    The you-tube and 15 year old comment made me laugh. I remember once looking for “how to cut straight bangs”. A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD had better bangs than me and was posting her video and doing the whole routine on her Mom. OMG.

    I haven’t youtubed anything since.

    Found you through the link-up.

    Newest follower!


  • I feel like a fake grown up all the time. Especially when I’m being teacher-y in front of my middle school classes. Sometimes I stop and think, “wait, when did this happen. Do they know that I dance and sing to Call Me Maybe in the kitchen?” Add in the fact that the fella and I moved to IDAHO together and bought a washer, dryer, and kind-sized mattress, and my mind is blown!

    Grown ups do that stuff. Why do I own a washer and dryer?

  • DJ

    I know what you mean about not yet feeling like a grown up. I don’t know if it ever happens… like when do you start referring to yourself as a “lady” or a “woman”? As far as I’m concerned, I’ll always be a girl, and so will everyone who is my age or younger.

    I can’t go down to the basement by myself, either. That’s reason #83920438 I’m thankful I have a dog and why your 6 page application will be totally worth it!

  • Adorable, funny blog post! New follower from the GFC blog hop. Would LOVE it if you could visit my humorous blog site and follow back–I’d be super grateful if you could. Thanks for sharing!

  • Wait what? Six pages is lunacy!

  • HA! Just found you via Wild Card Wednesday! And you CLEARLY live on the East Coast if a breeder wants THAT MUCH info! I work for a luxury pet lodging resort in Maryland (where all the rich people leave their dogs!) and hear all sorts of crazy breeder stories like this!

  • KL

    Pls consider adopting a pet through breed rescue for your next dog, every breed has a rescue.
    You will be saving a **** load of money and a life
    Golden retriever rescues are over flowing with pure breeds & Mixes

    • I actually did look in to the local golden retriever rescue and they did not have many dogs and those that they did have were mixes with breeds I’m not comfortable with, such as german shepards and pitbulls.

      I assure you we were very responsible about our choice of breeder and would not contribue to the puppy mill industry in any way. I appreciate your concern.

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