Lies I Love To Tell

I’m all in favor of honesty. I try to live my life in an honest way.
But sometimes in life, you just have to lie.
You’ve said some of these too. You know you have.
Oh my gosh, your baby is so cute!

Not only do all babies look nearly identical to me, but they look like identical aliens. Cute? Not so much. It’s a rare occasion when I think a baby is truly adorable. Like when they aren’t screaming in a public place. 
I’ll be ready in 2 minutes. 
No I won’t. In 2 minutes, I’ll think I’m almost ready. Then I’ll realize that I can’t find my cell phone, haven’t put earrings in, or don’t like my outfit.
Sure, I’d love to watch the game with you.
In the beginning of our relationship, I definitely dropped this a few times to impress the beau with how cool I was. But I’m not the cool girlfriend. I don’t love sports. Can’t we keep up with the Kardashians instead?
No, you take the last bite. I don’t want it.

What I really mean: back the eff off. That appetizer was amazing and I’m mad that I had to share any of it, let alone the last bite. It’s mine. All mine.
I feel a little guilty that I didn’t rescue a dog.
No I don’t. I wanted a golden retriever. That’s what I wanted. I was responsible about choosing a breeder and I’m happy with our choice. This does not make me a bad person.
Traffic was horrible! There must have been an accident or something.
Nope, I just totally underestimated the time it would take me to get ready and get here. 
I have no regrets.
“Why should I regret anything? My mistakes made me who I am today.”
-Every girl trying to make herself feel better about her former bad decisions

No. Just no. I regret tons of stuff. Tons. 
That guy I dated who was a huge jerk? Regret. 
Dying my hair brown that one time? Regret. 
Not saving enough money? Regret.
I have to say, I’m not a very good liar. I’m bad with the eye contact, I turn real red, and I’ll undoubtably get fidgety with my fingers. But listen to this:

“Lying is also apparently a coming-of-age marker of sorts for kids. “Children’s lies are a sign that they have reached an important milestone in their life,” 
“Children’s lies and their sophistications of lies only reflect better cognitive development in terms of executive functioning — the ability to pay attention, to plan, to control impulses and to switch readily between tasks — and their ability to read another person’s mind.”


Say whaaat? Looks like when my own little future aliens start lying, I’ll be nothing but proud.
What white lies do you drop a little too frequently?

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