Lies I Love To Tell

I’m all in favor of honesty. I try to live my life in an honest way.
But sometimes in life, you just have to lie.
You’ve said some of these too. You know you have.
 
Oh my gosh, your baby is so cute!
 

Not only do all babies look nearly identical to me, but they look like identical aliens. Cute? Not so much. It’s a rare occasion when I think a baby is truly adorable. Like when they aren’t screaming in a public place. 
 
I’ll be ready in 2 minutes. 
 
No I won’t. In 2 minutes, I’ll think I’m almost ready. Then I’ll realize that I can’t find my cell phone, haven’t put earrings in, or don’t like my outfit.
 
Sure, I’d love to watch the game with you.
 
In the beginning of our relationship, I definitely dropped this a few times to impress the beau with how cool I was. But I’m not the cool girlfriend. I don’t love sports. Can’t we keep up with the Kardashians instead?
 
No, you take the last bite. I don’t want it.
 

What I really mean: back the eff off. That appetizer was amazing and I’m mad that I had to share any of it, let alone the last bite. It’s mine. All mine.
 
I feel a little guilty that I didn’t rescue a dog.
 
No I don’t. I wanted a golden retriever. That’s what I wanted. I was responsible about choosing a breeder and I’m happy with our choice. This does not make me a bad person.
 
Traffic was horrible! There must have been an accident or something.
 
Nope, I just totally underestimated the time it would take me to get ready and get here. 
 
I have no regrets.
 
“Why should I regret anything? My mistakes made me who I am today.”
-Every girl trying to make herself feel better about her former bad decisions
 

No. Just no. I regret tons of stuff. Tons. 
That guy I dated who was a huge jerk? Regret. 
Dying my hair brown that one time? Regret. 
Not saving enough money? Regret.
 
 
I have to say, I’m not a very good liar. I’m bad with the eye contact, I turn real red, and I’ll undoubtably get fidgety with my fingers. But listen to this:
 

“Lying is also apparently a coming-of-age marker of sorts for kids. “Children’s lies are a sign that they have reached an important milestone in their life,” 
 
 
“Children’s lies and their sophistications of lies only reflect better cognitive development in terms of executive functioning — the ability to pay attention, to plan, to control impulses and to switch readily between tasks — and their ability to read another person’s mind.”

 

Say whaaat? Looks like when my own little future aliens start lying, I’ll be nothing but proud.
 
What white lies do you drop a little too frequently?
 

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  • Haha, love this post! I am a big fan of the line “i don’t know” which means I don’t feel like answering you, leave me alone when I do actually know, i just don’t feel like being bothered…is that bad? lol
    Stop by some time http://styledlikearockstar.blogspot.com
    I would love to follow you on twitter @ToriGStyled

  • l love this post! And yes, babies, especially newborns, kind of freak me out! They don’t look like people.

  • yeah, I’d have to agree on the babies. I also hate how moms assume everyone wants to see and hold their baby…I don’t like kids, keep yours away from me.

  • Fun post! I always use “I’ll be ready in 2 minutes.” I really do think I’ll be ready in two minutes, but then I realize I forgot something. I always think, ‘maybe I should add a few minutes so my husband will be surprised when I’m actually ready in time,’ but then I think, nope, I’ll just stick with 2 minutes!

  • I agree, I’ve definitely told someone their baby was adorable, then told my boyfriend about how ugly it was. HOWEVER, and I am not just saying this because he’s my baby, you just can not tell me that my baby is adorable and not mean it. Because he is too cute. Although I will agree that babies all look the same the first few days after they’re born. They look like potatoes. I always underestimate the time that it takes to get somewhere too and leave WAY too late. I was late to work every single day. I just never learn.

  • It’s hard to stick to the rule “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” most people, like myself, would never speak again lol

  • When people say “I have to regrets” it always makes me a little angry! EVERYONE has regrets, no matter who you are. And you’re right- girls say that just to try to make themselves look better! I definitely always say “I’m fine” when I’m not- that’s my big lie!

  • Haha I love this. And I TOTALLY do the whole last bite thing. I want the last bite, always.

  • I totally use a lot of these and OFTEN.

    I also use ‘Oh, I didn’t get your text’ or ‘I don’t have a missed call from you…’ haha. Oops?

  • OMG thank you for the one about regrets! I hate that people are all “I have no regrets.” I’m always like… that’s BS. Everyone has them. And that’s okay!

  • I’m SO with you on the regrets thing! Loved this post! 🙂 I never lie about food, though, I want every last bite and I don’t share and everyone knows it! 🙂

  • “I’m ready” is my biggest lie. Oh I have regrets, I agree they’ve shaped me, but making the other choice, the probably smarter choice would have “shaped” me too.

  • I always blame traffic. Haha!

    And good for you for getting the dog you want. I love your dog and there is nothing wrong w/ getting one from a breeder!!

  • Aside from the dog one, I agree with them all! Granted my job makes me a little biased. 🙂

  • I agree with the baby one so, so much. Babies don’t look like humans until they’re like six months old.

  • I agree with the ‘your baby is so cute’ lie. Except I get around it by saying ‘Oh I LOVE that outfit! How adorable!’ This way I’m not actually LYING…. right?!

  • I love this post! Especially that bit at the end, because I never would have known that!
    <3 Kiersten

  • Umm you tell me how cute Ella is all the time!

  • I love this post!! Hearing “I have no regrets” actually drives me crazy! I think all of us have regrets, when we look closely at our lives and our decisions (I know I do!). I liked your take on that.

  • These are so great. “Sure, I would LOVE to see your kids’ Easter/Christmas/Birthday pictures!”

  • Hehe, I’ve said almost all of these. I’m guilty of telling people I never got their text or phone call when I really just didn’t feel like talking to them at the time. Ooops. 🙂

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  • I’m totally guilty of telling a lot of these lies! I think a lot of us are. Sometimes little white lies are just easier to tell…and to receive.

  • oh my god – the traffic and “i’ll be ready in 2 minutes” are my go-to white lies. my husband has “marianna time” which means anytime I say I’m 5 mins away it really means I’m about 15 mins away. #sorrynotsorry

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  • I am pretty sure you have told me Gracie is cute more than once…this makes me nervous! haha 🙂 I LOVE your posts.

  • hahaha I agree…babies look like old people!

  • I definitely use all of these lines. I got my sweet Lucy for free when the breeder got tired of trying to fine a buyer for her (hello clearance puppy) so I try to act like under normal circumstances I’d have rescued a dog, but who am I kidding? I wanted a chocolate lab and I wouldn’t have stopped until I had one.

  • Lies I love to tell…. I just had one glass of wine last night.

  • And you are so right, babies are terrible aliens

  • The baby comment made me laugh so hard! I tell my friends all the time that new born babies are so ugly. Everyone says their baby was beautiful from birth, but then they show me the pictures. I’m sticking by the fact that babies are not beautiful.

  • ha! i do the traffic one. and I have a very hard time being truthful if someone asks for my opinion on a new piece of clothing and I don’t like it…

    -Emma from little motley

  • Haha, love this post. My fave is “I have no regrets” – I honestly believe everyone regrets something. That’s how you learn from things – from your mistakes, but you should still regret making those mistakes!

    – Heather

  • um, can I just say alll of the above?! The worst is when I text “on my way” and I am just getting out of the shower… guilty!
    xx
    Here&Now

  • ah! you’re too much! Loved this post and the kicker of “truth” at the end. So glad you stopped lying about food. No one gets my last bite, no one. And you should get your every bite too!

  • Hahaha. These are great (and so true)! I’d say my biggest lie is telling patients at the dr’s office things I don’t mean. “Yes, it’s fine you forgot your insurance cards.” “It’s fine you’re running 20 minutes late” etc.

  • I always want the last bite and am completely offended if someone thinks otherwise

  • This is hilarious! sadly, i’ve used the baby lie one too many times. but my tell face is horrible, my cheeks turn bright red..why couldn’t i have had a better lie face?!

  • This makes me so happy and is SO true – especially about the two minutes and the traffic!

    xx
    Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

  • I’m okay or I’m fine. I am never okay I am either good or bad.

    Miranda
    mirandarue.wordpress.com

  • Jeeze louise its like you read my mind sometimes lady, LOL!!! I never wanted to get a rescue dog either…I always wanted a golden, best choice I ever made.

    I think the biggest fibs I often use are when I have a friend who says something that she thinks is funny and I always try to laugh and make a point to state that its hilarious, and its not…not even in the slightest…LOL sorry im not sorry!

    I often fib to my husband about stuff I buy. I will say I haven’t spent any extra $ and then I will use cash that I earn from my hair clients to splurge and then bring the bags home before he sees….that’s bad I know..LOL

    xo Dinah @ sunshine super glam

  • I LOVE this post! I thought I never wanted kids, because I am horrible at lying to people about how cute their baby is. Thankfully I had some super cute ones with cool hair. I like my kids, not many others. And can I tell you how much respect I have for you voicing that it’s okay to NOT get a shelter dog! I have raised, shown and bred (6 litters) in the 15 years and absolutely love my purebred, champion collies and wouldn’t trade them for anything! Not sure how I stumbled here, but very glad I did my friend, very glad I did.
    Hailey @ Love, Laughter and Lipstick

  • Aint these the truth? Well, the lies. ha. Some of these I know exactly what you are talking about. We wanted a German Shepherd. One with great breeding and bloodline. Do the Sarah Maclachan commercials depress me? Yes. But that doesn’t mean I wanted to go to the pound and bring home some Benji looking dog. We wanted a German Shepherd and that’s what we got.

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