If the Satellites Fall From the Sky

The other day at work, my boss handed me a coupon for a free loaf of bread from a local bakery. Never one to turn down coupons or carbs, I accepted with enthusiasm. 


So I venture out to a shopping center I’ve never visited to pick up said loaf. Red light. I whip out my phone to do what else? Check twitter. I’m 47% sure it’s not illegal to check your phone while driving if you are stopped at a red light.

Battery life: 1%


How does this happen to me? How?
Oh right, because I never charge my phone ever. I need to join underchargers anonymous. It’s getting serious, people. <–Really wanted to say y’all there. Don’t know why. 

And that’s when I realized:
I am completely and totally dependent on my phone.

With my phone now dead and no GPS available, I could not think of how I would ever find this shopping center, a mere 6 miles from my home. 

For a moment I thought about stopping at a gas station to get a map. Then I realized that without a little blue arrow directing me, I have no idea how to use a map. Also, do gas stations even sell maps anymore? I ruled this option out immediately. 

Then I thought, I’ll just pull over and ask someone. But pride told me that driving around aimlessly would be a much better idea. Wow, I kind of sounded like a dude right there. 


At this point I wondered if perhaps I should give up my quest and head home. Or to the nearest grocery store to buy a $2.99 loaf of fresh bread. But nope, I’d rather drive around for an hour than give up free food. Especially carbs.

Eventually, only one wrong turn later, I found the bakery based on my bosses vague verbal directions. Lemme tell you, WORTH IT. 


This kind of got me thinking of all of the other things I would not be able to do without technology (mostly my phone). The list is more than embarrassing:

      Basic Math i.e. if this top is 20% off of $14.99, how much is it?
      Proper Spelling
      What time it is
      Any ones phone number besides my Mom’s
      Take 1,632 pictures of Archie
      Diagnose myself with 7 rare illnesses
      Know that the girl who was mean to me in high school has 2 kids and gained 50lbs
      Find out that we shouldn’t have let Archie eat 3 corn cobs on Memorial Day

The internet has been at my fingertips for my entire life. 

Alright, I’m not 100% on when the internet was invented but I also don’t remember a time before we had Google. Given that, it’s a wonder that my generation is capable of being functional human beings at all. I’ve googled everything I ever needed to know. And a whole bunch of things I didn’t. 

Archie enjoys the humor of Mindy Kaling and doesn’t like when people read over his shoulder. 

It’s also a wonder that Naveed and I killed the whole loaf of bread in one sitting. No wait, that’s just normal. 

I guess what I’m getting at is, in the event of an apocalypse or if all the satellites fall from the sky, I’ll be the first to go. 



Today I’m beyond excited to introduce you to Tina from Like Ordinary Life. Tina’s was one of the first blogs I started following way back when and I feel like she’s been my comrade in this adventure in blogging from the get-go. Tina’s post called Seeking a Friend for the Next Part of my Life was one of the most poignant, moving, and TRUE posts I’ve ever read. If you are in your 20’s, or hell, any major life stage, READ IT. 

Tina really should be a lawyer, but instead, she’s a teacher. And the silly thing you simply must know? She spent a summer writing Hanson fanfiction. You really can’t find anyone being more honest on their blog than Tina, especially after she admitted that. So go check out Like Ordinary Life to remind you that in this crazy blog world, there are still some bloggers that are still 100% genuine and 100% awesome. 


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  • Love this! I would die without my phone…just die. I must check Twitter and Facebook at least once an hour, or at every red light. (I don’t even like Facebook but I just HAVE to!) I would be lost, I don’t know anyones numbers, I can do percents in my head but it is nice to have confirmation of my thoughts, and the list goes on!

  • So true. I would be gone in a heartbeat.

  • The one time I forgot my phone at home I was stranded at a closed UPS store with no gas. I’ll never leave without it again

  • That litle sale app I have is a life saver. I am atrocious at doing math. It’s sad really.

    • Also, I love all the gifs!

  • I don’t know what I would do without my phone either. It’s sad to say, but I’m completely dependent on it. And I definitely couldn’t navigate myself without it.

  • Oh my word…sounds like something that would happen to me! I would be totally lost without my phone too!

  • Love this! I’m totally dependent on my phone too. I don’t wear a watch or carry around a calculator, camera, map, or phone book, so I’d be pretty lost without my precious iphone. And don’t feel bad, I still get lost WITH my phone’s GPS so I’d hate to imagine the idea of using a map….

    Amanda
    http://www.thesequinedspaniel.com

  • I’m definitely dependent on my GPS- I’m terrible with directions and get such bad driving anxiety! I’m not sure what I did before I got it a few years ago. I guess I just didn’t drive far haha!

  • Archie has good taste in comedians. I adore Mindy.xx

  • Oh I would totally freak out without my phone too…LOL and I too cannot read a map to save my life…its kinda funny!! I just love that pic of Archie’s head at the computer, what a little love muffin….I think our doggies would be good friends…maybe even lovah’s lol!!!!

    xo Dinah @ sunshine super glam

  • I am exactly the same way. After I got my first iPhone, I knew I would never be able to function without it again. Maybe that’s sad. Oh well! 🙂

  • I just recently discovered your blog and it’s quickly becoming a favorite. I don’t know how people survived before google. Seriously.

  • Hahahaha. I am the same way with percentages… If it’s not 50% off, an amount I can configure, I don’t get it. Unless it’s 60% or higher, because then I know it’s superrr cheap 😉

  • Isn’t it crazy how much we depend on our phones?!

  • This is so true! When I went to Europe for three months I was completely lost without my phone service! But now I love that I don’t have to depend on my phone as much and I love that I don’t whip my phone out when I’m hanging with my friends because I have come to love the conversations I have with people face to face instead of phone to phone!

    xx

    http://thattallgirlinheels.com

  • Love the Phoebe gif! I can sympathize… I feel like 90% of my life belongs on a Friends episode. (And fun side-story? I once locked myself out of my car, and the only phone number I had memorized – to call from the neighbor’s phone – was my ex. Fail.)

    I still haven’t learned my lesson, apparently, because I know exactly 0 numbers by heart now.

    PS – Where do you find your gifs?? Is there a site you can search for them by emotion you’re trying to convey? Because if not, there should be.

    • I was totally wondering the same thing about finding the gifs. You always find the perfect ones!

  • this post is hilariously awesome in everyway…and true…

    Kelly Vaughan
    She’s In High Cotton

  • Liz

    Ughhh, I do this sort of thing ALL. THE. TIME. And then feel like such a dumbass for being that incompetent that I’m so addicted to my phone, but hey, it’s the truth!

    xo, Liz
    whatdresscodeblog.com

  • I’m hella dependent on it but I don’t even care – I love that I can know anything I want to know in very few seconds. Its wonderful.

  • I remember life before Google. Does that mean I’m old?! LOL … but seriously, I would be lost (literally and figuratively) without my phone!!!!

  • You just gave me a serious panic attack because ZOMG what would happen if the internet just stopped? We would die wouldn’t we? The world would be doomed.

    Don’t worry though, I have xanax.

    But I’m sending you the bill.

    😉 XO,
    Samm
    http://www.dysfunctionaleverafter.com

  • I always think thoughts like this. Like, how did people “work” before the internet? I’m online literally the entire time I’m at my desk. How did memos work before email? Can you imagine stacks on stacks of PAPER memos? The horror.

  • I don’t function without my phone. It feels awkward and uncomfortable. How would I pretend I’m on a call when I see people I know at the mall? It would be a disaster.

  • I’m old so I actually do remember a day before the internet!! But I try really hard to forget because I can’t imagine my life without it now. Yes, we are dependent but oh well. Technology is created, we use it then we need it. That’s how it goes!!

  • I’m with you girl! I have no idea how I would survive without my phone (which is why I charge it like a man woman). Confession time: I tutored Hispanic children in college and one day a 4th grader wanted me to help with math. It was like 42×23. I had no idea how to carry the 1 and all that jazz and was mortified–enter my phone calculator! How sad is that??? Totally dependent, is what it is!

  • 20% of $14.99… ready? Tips and discounts for idiots, here we go: move your decimal to the left one: $1.499, or really it’s just $1.50, right? That’s your 10%. Then, multiply that by 2 because 10% times 2 is 20%. Three bucks. That’s what you are getting off your top. 🙂 It’s easier, I think, to find the 10% and then double it.

    Thanks for the super sweet words. 🙂 It’s been fun to see each other’s blogs grow, right? So much fun!

  • Haha this post was so relatable. I went to see “The Great Gatsby” last night and the entire time I kept thinking “Why Don’t all these people just google Gatsby to find out the truth about him” and then of course realized computers weren’t around in the 1920s much less the internet and google…
    xxoo,
    Jordyn

  • I still can’t get to my fiances house in Salt Lake without my GPS. I finally splurged on a $30 phone charger and considered it a purchase of love since I am driving so much to see the handsome boy of mine. haha. I panic when it gets below 50%. #iampathetic

  • LOVE the George Michael GIF! Have you watched the new season on Netflix? I haven’t yet but I have heard mixed reviews. I am completely reliant on my phone for all of the things you mentioned and more. It’s ridiculous really.

  • I’m the same way – can’t pass up carbs and more than addicted to my cell phone. Don’t worry, if there’s an apocalypse you won’t be the only one who won’t last long!

    • I just reread that and its totally not a reassuring comment. Haha, sorry!

  • i’m completely dependent on my phone. it’s even embarrassing that if a student asked me certain spelling questions in class (teachers can use phones in class right?!) i look it up. i mean come on, who needs to spell badminton? and where did that ‘n’ come from? is it just me or do people pronounce it with the ‘n’?

  • That meme is amazing, and yes, I do eat carbs!

    xx
    Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

  • Sooo dependent on my phone. I would leave my house without my wallet in a heartbeat before I would leave without my phone!!

    Just wanted to stop by and let you know I nominated you for the Ivrester Award!! It’s an award started by Sarah at Venus Trapped in Mars. Head over to the blog to check it out!! Have a great day!!

  • Lol I’m the same way. Buy one of those cases that come with extra battery!!!

  • Oh, I am soooo with you. My phone died a few weeks ago when I was making a 3 hour drive between Chicago and Indy. I was sure I was a goner. I am still shocked that I made it alive without getting lost or murdered.
    I also understand the impulse to use the word Y’all. Never actually spoken it out loud, but I always want to type it.
    I blame all those southern bloggers 😉

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