Half Asleep

Sometimes late at night, just as I’m drifting off to sleep, I have these crazy nightmares. Most of the time I can’t tell if I’m awake or asleep. They aren’t exactly dreams but it’s almost like one clip of something replays in my head over and over. And it’s never something good.

These little nightmares always seem to be about something terrible happening to my family and loved ones. You know just when you fall asleep and you like twitch and it wakes you up? It’s like that. I wake up an a panic, adrenaline all rushing through my body. 

Usually I can fall back asleep pretty quickly but some just stick with me. The topics of these mini-nightmares, are always super specific. Some recent ones include:
I’m in a plane with someone I love and it’s crashing.
My Dad is cleaning the gutters and falls off the roof (random but terrifying).
I get a phone call from my Mom that something has happened to my Step-Dad or Grandma (rotates between the two).
My beau is in a car accident.
I find out that one of my siblings has cancer.
The thing is, all of these things could happen. It’s just that in my normal day they aren’t something I worry tremendously about.

I know I’m an anxious person. Or as my grandmother would call it (cause she’s one too): a worrier. We worry. We just do. About things that could happen and things that probably never will.

And although I can’t complain about much in my life (I know I’ve got it good), this little piece of me just drives me crazy. I’m not sure how to make it stop.

So tell me, has this ever happened to you?
(I might just be an anxious weirdo)
Any suggestions on how to make this stop?

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