8 People Who Should Be Kicked Off Facebook

 

I’m not really in to Facebook. Back in the day when you had to have a .edu email address and you there was no news feed (oh the joys of manually stalking people…it was hard work!) Facebook was a glorious place. You could see pictures of what your friends did that weekend! You could easily find out where anyone was going to college! All your status updates were in the third person! “Nadine is….”

Nadine is over Facebook. That’s what. Because of the people below.

8 People Who Should Be Kicked Off Facebook

1. The bible verse sharer

Listen, I’m fine with the occasional reminder of someones beliefs. But if that’s all you post, no. Just no. It’s too much. Even if you had a shot at converting people via Facebook, the frequency of these posts are killing that. Sorry I’m not sorry.

2. The Obama Care (ahem, the Affordable Care Act) basher

I’m not saying I know anything about the Affordable Care Act. I don’t (hangs head in shame). But I assure you that if (when) I do learn about it, it will not be from a snarky, uneducated Meme on Facebook. I’m fairly certain that no one has ever just up and changed their political stance because of a Facebook comment.

3. My Mom

Kidding Mom! Please don’t return all my Birthday presents. My mom mostly shares dog videos, which I appreciate. But I promise you, my personal Facebook page consists entirely of things that my Mom has shared with me. In general, Moms have taken over Facebook.

An example of something my Mom would post on my Facebook page. Errryday.
An example of something my Mom would post on my Facebook page. Errryday.

On second thought, thanks Mom. Anything dog related makes me really happy.

4. The vague status updates, feel-bad-for-me attention seeker

This most frequently includes Taylor Swift song lyrics, cryptic love references, and the excessive use of emojis. Inevitably, 37 people will comment “ohh my gosh what’s wrong? love you guuurrrl.” Don’t do it. It’s what they want you to do. Ignore them and they’ll go away. Maybe.

5. Oversharer Mommy

I don’t care that your kid just went potty in the toilet for the first time. I really don’t. Facebook is not the place to overshare. That’s what blogs are for.

i don't care - anna kendrick gif

6. The game inviter

No, I don’t want to buy more charms or milk your cow or bring coins to your casino. Do you even realize you are continuously inviting me to these things? I find that the only people who do are the people I’ve awkwardly lost touch with. Whenever I get a request I know they must have no idea the game is sending it to every single friend on Facebook. Awk.

7. The inconsiderate throwbacker

It should be illegal to share a throwback photo from anytime between 6th and 10th grade. Those years do not need to be brought back from the dead. And so help me God, if you tag me in a photo circa 8th grade with braces, cystic acne, an at-home perm, throwing up a peace sign, I will de-friend you. I will.

8. The unflattering photo poster

Shhh…I’ve been this person. And you probably have too. You know when there is a picture and it’s so flattering of you but maybe not so flattering of your friend? You want to post it so bad because damn, you look fabulous! The chances of you posting it are directly correlated with how much you actually like the person. Truth.

In spite of all of this, I continue to use Facebook. So now that I’ve thoroughly bashed it, if you want to “like” my blog on Facebook, be my guest. I’m sure I’ve missed one or two (or 12) other people who should be kicked off Facebook.

Who should be added to this list? Better yet, share the most obnoxious thing you’ve seen on Facebook. There are bound to be some doozies.

YOU MIGHT LIKE:
  • #1 !!!!!!!!!!!!
    and #4 and #5, like seriously people, shut up.

  • Yes! Yes! Yes! I am so over Facebook. I really want to delete it, but my mother-in-law loves it & that’s one of the main ways she gets to see pics of Ella. But yes, all of those people need to go.

  • Yes!!! I’m so with you on all of these. Can we please also add #9 The Crappy Photo Sharer? The people who take horrible photos on their phones, usually at night when it’s really dark and the photo is too blurry/grainy to really tell what’s going on but they post it anyway because … I don’t know why. Also, #10 The Too Many Baby Photos Parent. Like, I don’t need to see 15 new photos of your kid every single time I sign on to FB – they haven’t changed *that* much since yesterday. If not for needing a business page, I would’ve left FB during the last election.

    • Election time is always a good time to go on hiatus from social media. It’s the worst. But I completely agree with your submissions of #10 and #11. Well done.

  • Agreed! And actually, that fact that my Dad is on Facebook is a reason for me to stay away. He posts the most annoying shit. And look, we ALL wish cancer wasn’t real and didn’t take those we love and care about but mehitting “like” on a picture is not going to make it go away. Those memes drive me CRAZY!

    • I almost added “the cause pusher” to the list but I think I might be that person, since I work for a non-profit. Still, it’s annoying when that is all people post. I like to intersperse my posts about childhood cancer with pictures of Archie.

  • My mom asks why I never post on Facebook anymore. I told her it’s just not as fun since her and my dad joined!

    • I’ve had the same conversation with my mom. Parents ruined facebook.

  • Ha you just listed seven of the reasons (my mom isn’t included b/c she’s lovely in person & on FB :)) why I happily left FB last year. In the end, my cons of staying outweighed my pros! Seriously, leaving lifted a huge load off my shoulders.

    But b/c I enjoy keeping up w/my fave brands & sites, I later created another acct under a pseudonym: that way I can keep what I enjoyed from FB minus the clutter b/c that acct doesn’t have “friends” (ie the people from your post). And b/c there are people that I still care about, I still use email, IG, snail mail, twitter, whatsapp, viber, etc to keep in touch w/them. Old days!

    • I have to use my personal facebook for work stuff sometimes. I work a lot with college students who still frequently are easier to contact via facebook. In that last two years, that’s about all I’ve used it for. I’d consider deleting it otherwise!

  • I hate the gym buffs. I have a girl on my list that I went to college with who basically went from the extreme of being wafer thin, to now she’s like a bodybuilder. And all she posts is her orange skin and biceps. Oh, and her musclehead boyfriend’s biceps. I had to hide her because I couldn’t take it.

    I also hate the new-Mommy’s that share “OMG BREASTFEEDING IS THE BEST WHY ARE YOU SO AGAINST ME DOING IT IN PUBLIC”, in addition to all their kid’s actions throughout the day.

    Oh and don’t forget about the person that has Scentsy or ThirtyOne or something like that and is CONSTANTLY trying to get their friends to buy from them. -__-

    • You nailed this.

      I also have a friend or two who got super into fitness and now push their personal training services on Facebook, along with sharing pictures of their amazing (or way too defined and kind of gross) abs.

      Because many of my friends don’t have kids yet, I haven’t gotten too much of the breastfeeding commentary but I know it’s coming. I’m bracing myself.

      And lastly, YES. This needs to be on the list. I don’t want to buy whatever you’re selling. Gah, drives me crazy.

  • i bash facebook all. the. time. and yet i still continue to log on everyday. What is wrong with us?! haha

    • I can go days without checking my personal facebook but I have to use it for my blog. I secretly hate using it for blog stuff. I’d rather use twitter.

  • agree 100 million percent! Especially the people who are always woe is me and the game people. I have about 300 game requests. Its the worse and I wish they would go away.

  • This is hilarious! I so agree with you! 90% of people on Facebook drive me absolutely nuts. I feel like I should go through and clean out my friends list ha ha.

    • I went on a hiding spree recently. The worst part is that the people who are the most obnoxious are my own extended family. If I defriended them, they would notice. So I just have to hide them all from showing up on my news feed every 2.5 seconds.

  • I agree on all along with the Gym buffs

  • number 1, omg!!!!!! My dad, seriously he likes every post i write…EVERY POST!!!!! and i am that guilty mom-sharer though, lol

  • number 1, omg!!!!!! My dad, seriously he likes every post i write…EVERY POST!!!!! and i am that guilty mom-sharer though, lol oh and I hate when you ask a question and you really want answers but someone just likes it or says “Awwwww”. no answer my question!

    • Number 1 is my least favorite. I just don’t know what people are trying to accomplish. It’s kind of cute that your Dad likes your posts though.

  • Totally agree with #3, my Facebook is full of funny animal videos and photos…she may have shared that one with me too!!

  • Oh my gosh YES. I have like 5 of each of these on Facebook and I’m so over it.

  • A girl I grew up with posted a photo of herself right after she had given birth… in a bathtub. And I mean JUST given birth. As in, the dad was about to cut the cord … and she was naked and the baby was crying and I need to gouge out my mind’s eye so I never have to see that again.

    • Oh dear God. Not okay. Who would think that was okay? I’m friends with MANY people who I would never want to see me like that. I can’t handle how freaking weird that is.

  • Hahahaha, all of these. The worst is the oversharer mom. I have a few of those in my feed…. bless their hearts…

  • Lindsey

    I know someone who is literally all of these at once. That would be my mother. I’ve had to change my settings so that I approve ANYTHING that goes on my page (pictures, posts, comments, you name it) and I’ve had to “unfollow” her (without her knowledge of course because I’m pretty sure she would be heartbroken). She posts political bashings (and have had people defriend her over it, both on Facebook and real life), religious posts (I’m pretty sure checking yourself in at mass defeats the purpose), recipes, throwback photos with braces, chubby cheeks, and cystic acne like woah, attention seeking “why me?” posts, and my personal favorite, the check ins. Oh lord, the check ins. EV.ER.Y.WHERE. I miss the days of .edu Facebook. Thanks, Mom! haha

    • Oh gosh, I giggled a bit when I read “checking yourself in at mass”. That sounds rough. My mom definitely is a little heavy handed with the share button but it’s mostly just funny dog stuff or informative dog stuff. Like, reminder Nadine, don’t feed Archie grapes! So it’s actually kind of helpful. I do have other family members who are like your mom and I hide their posts. I just can’t tolerate it.

  • perfect post at the perfect time! i stepped away from fb at the end of november and i am now logging-in just once per week. i miss the photos from my friends/family who live far away, but i do NOT miss the political rants, the weather reports [all we have to do is look outside friends!], and the braggy posts about how awesome your child/car/pet/spouse/etc. is.
    life is good with less of facebook in it! 😉
    *

    • Some people treat Facebook like a year long Christmas brag letter. They are bad enough once a year.

  • LK

    The Oversharer Mommy YES. There is one girl in particular who posts 3-5 (sometimes more) videos/pictures/statuses of her child every single day doing the most mundane things. She posted a video this Xmas called ‘first gift exchange!!!’ that was literally her toddler handing a bag to someone. WHO CARES? I’ve considered unfriending her but it’s my sister’s best friend so that’s awkward, plus about 5 of us group text about how ridiculous and insane she sounds on facebook. I also can’t stand the moms who post 47 pictures of their infant laying in a blanket in the exact same pose. One will suffice. Or potty training updates. Luckily my good friends who have children have been very good about not facebooking their every waking moment.

    One of the worst facebook ‘offenders’ is someone I only friended for pure entertainment. I’ve never met him; he went to HS with one of my good friends. He posts probably 10 times a day about his love life problems, baby mama drama, etc. Last night it was ‘if any of you would stick up for me in a fight let me know by liking or commenting, just want to see who has my back.’ Or stuff like ‘can someone help my girlfriend – inbox me.’ His posts are so entertaining because he has a new girlfriend every week (he “loves” every single one after a day of meeting them) and they all fight on his page.

    • It sounds like you’ve got quite a bit of dramatic entertainment happening on your news feed! I have to admit, I love the occasional FB drama of old high school acquaintances.

      Let’s make a pact to never be the oversharing mama’s, mmkay? That ish is so unnecessary.

  • Dear #4, I can’t stand you! I don’t care about how depressed you are today over the fact that it’s been one day since you last posted you couldn’t find a decent guy.I. Don’t. Care.

  • THIS IS SOOOO HILARIOUS!

  • The meme re-poster, I don’t care that you think 20 meme’s on 20 different pages are cute and/or funny. I do not need to see every. single. one.

  • I think the overly affectionate e-couple tops my list. I’m sure “love you babee, you are my whole world, can’t wait to see you in xyz days!!!” would be much more meaningful through a private phone call. Even a text. That works too.

    • Hate it. I feel like that should never ever happen after age 19. Even then it was horrible but everyone was doing it. Vom.

  • #5 – I like to post funny things my toddler says, because let’s be honest…toddlers are funny and honest. Well at least mine is 😉 and she’s cute (says every mom on the planet about their own child). But seriously, my husband and I were just talking about #4 and the constant complainers and the people who constantly post what they are doing. “I just walked up the stairs.” Oh really?Well did you trip and break your tooth? Because that’s interesting. Otherwise, who cares! “It’s almost time for work. I better get ready.” Um, yes, yes you should, if it means not updating your Facebook status! Can we also add people who post what the weather conditions are outside? That’s what the weather channel is for. If we have a computer and a phone to check Facebook, we already have access to this information, thank you very much. All that being said, I rarely even get on my personal FB page much anymore either.

    • I like reading when kids say funny things. Did you ever see that Bill Cosby show? Hilarious. I just don’t like oversharing about the gross side of parenthood or the stuff no one cares about (i.e. little Johnny almost rolled over during tummy time! um, no one cares). I agree with the pointless posts and the weather posts though. Totally ridiculous and unnecessary.

  • Elizabeth

    My mom is a high school teacher so she’ll never be on Facebook – she hates it. My dad doesn’t care about it. My 80-year-old grandmother is on it along with aunts, uncles, in-laws, etc. Their comments alone make me laugh and/or cringe. A girl from high school is going through *something* so she’s doing lots of #4’s… Don’t be vague. If you’re going to take the time to post something tell me the details – I’m nosy!

    • I work with high school students a lot and it seems like their teachers avoid facebook to avoid the students! The teachers don’t want to see all the nonsense the kids are into outside of school. My 90 year old grandma is on it too. Cheers to tech savvy grandmas!

      • Teachers avoid Facebook for their own privacy. That and so that they cannot be fired by their school system for expressing their opinions. Sad but true.

  • Elizabeth

    Oh yeah! And I have a friend who had a home birth and they posted a picture of the raw placenta showing that THEY ATE IT!!!!!!!! Worst over-sharing ever…

    • That is HANDS DOWN the worst thing I have ever read. Holy crap. I can’t even fathom what the responses were to that. God it must have been horrifying and hilarious.

  • I totally agree! Tho I still go on fb oops! x
    thelastbrokenroad.blogspot.nl

  • I’ve been going on FB so much less in the past two months, and life has been so much better. I can’t stand any of the aforementioned people – get with the program, folks! Or actually, get OUT of this program, pleaseandthankyou!

  • Megan

    The people that don’t realize Twitter exists. They update every couple of minutes, short, sweet, but they take up your entire timeline. Get a Twitter…that’s what its for.

  • This is so funny! And I agree with them all. I especially hate the overly political people. I don’t even care which way they lean, I just don’t want to hear it at all. LoL…also, the overly passionate mothers I’m learning are super annoying! The ones who rant about how to birth and raise your child the “right way”….now that I’m pregnant I want to slap them. Facebook has become a huge soapbox for people to stand on. I think it’s just always easier to rant and rave when protected behind the computer’s monitor.

    • You are absolutely right. I think the computer allows so many people to say things they’d never say to someone elses face. Facebook is no exception. I haven’t had too many friends who have babies yet but the few who do tend to be a little up on their soapbox about some things. I can’t imagine what my news feed will be like in 5 years.

  • I LOVE this! It’s so true! I love that my Mom isn’t on Facebook!

    Kristin
    crumbsandcurls.blogspot.com

  • I am so with you I like Facebook but some people are just so annoying and shouldn’t be allowed near Facebook.

  • Yes, yes, yes to all of this! I can’t stand facebook anymore, and yearn for the days when it was edu emails only. Now, I only make statuses that subtly mock the people you listed. And they still don’t get it. I should just post this list haha

    • I wish I had the courage to mock people. Unfortunately the worst offenders are my own family members. Gah! The worst.

  • I HATE the couples that are married or live together that will write on each other walls (but it ends up in my news feed) “thanks for dinner, it was great babe.” or “one more day until the weekend with you, can’t wait” THEY LIVE 3 f’ing feet from you. TELL THEM TO THEIR FACE. No one gives a damn how good your dinner was. You married them or chose to live with them, communicate to their face. gah sorry. rant over.

    • Oh gosh, that is the worst. Fortunately I don’t see much of it on my news feed but I really hate any couple interaction on Facebook. It’s like, we all know you are talking to each other outside of Facebook. Do that instead.

  • hahaha This is GREAT!!! I was literally just contemplating writing a blog post about how annoying bible lovers are to me, and then decided against bc I was afraid I’d be offensive. And the inconsiderate throwback poster… genius!! So glad I’m not the only one!

  • I’m totally an Inconsiderate Throwbacker. Ha!

  • The people who can’t spell/use proper grammar are the worst to me! oR the OneZ WHo do iT liK DiZ! uggggh!

  • Ooo, I hate the vague status poster! “Nothing like an afternoon at the hospital!” or “Life is the worst today!” Oh no! What’s wrong? Oh wait, I don’t care.

  • My mom always shares these ridiculous cute dogs in shelters looking to be adopted and tags me in a comment like I don’t already see this dog that she knows we cannot have. Because my sweet Charlie is a terror.

  • Oh my gosh! Yes to like all of these, lately my facebook has just been a bunch of engagements, weddings, and babies though.

  • oh man, I have so many opinions about this. I had a family member get mad at me over Christmas because I had her on “limited profile”…. um, yes, yes I DO… Facebook isn’t for you old people, it was for my crazy college pictures that I never wanted you to see. I am so over Facebook and for our parent’s generation taking it way too freaking seriously… Facebook purist here!
    xx
    Here&Now
    Enter my current giveaway!

  • Ughhhh the vague status posters are the worst! My friend had a status today of “_____ is feeling defeated” and that was the entire status. I was like, really?!?! At least tell me more details than that if you’re going to post about it at all!

  • Samantha

    OMG I’m dying. These are dead on. I seriously miss Facebook for what it used to be. Now it’s just creepy and annoying and I don’t want to play Candy Crush Saga, Farm animals, or whatever else you want me to come play. UGH.

  • FOOTBALL FANS. Specifically BALTIMORE RAVENS FANS. Most of my friends and family live in Baltimore, and whenever football season starts, my stomach gets tied up in knots. I’m sure to expect a play by play update of the games. What’s even better is the following kinds of updates:

    “WHAT?!”
    “GET IT TOGETHER RAVENS!”
    “C’MON YOU CAN DO IT”
    “WHAT WAS THAT??”
    “I LOVE (insert a ridiculous moniker of player’s name such as Wacco Flacco”

    Can you tell I despise these people? They’re primarily the reason why I don’t frequent Facebook anymore.

  • Jessa

    I compltely agree with this list!! i just deleted a bunch of ppl off facebook for some of these reasons..

  • YES! These 8 people (except my Mommy!) are the reason I rarely go on FB anymore. It’s been ruined.

  • The overshare of crappy recipes, keep it on pinterest, that doesn’t even look good. I purely keep facebook now to facebook chat to friends and family I don’t get to see. I scroll through news feed for all of five seconds, get annoyed, and go play on twitter.

  • Brianne Bracco

    Baha! Seriously…#5 makes me avoid facebook most days…and I do the same facial expression and all after I read what over informative post they have.

  • Jennifer

    omg yes – #4, #5, and #6. drives me batty!

  • I am so over facebook too! Honestly, it just pisses me off. I have decided to limit my facebook time to my blog or photography FB pages. I am glad I am not the only one that feels this way.

    Cheers,
    Alyson

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  • Kasper

    #1 for sure! But add to the religious commentary anything deemed “motivational”. Why is it that 99% of women (mostly single) have to post pictures/memes of OTHER people doing stuff they should be doing themselves. Just as posting a bible verse does not make you God, looking at people doing crossfit does not make YOU an athlete and sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. I unfriend all desperate loners that re-post Google images meant to inspire or motivate from their couch as they watch Desperate Housewives & Sex & The City reruns fantasizing they could have that life.

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