7 Things I’ve Learned from Mommy Bloggers

Let me just put this out there: Mommy bloggers have prepared me more for pregnancy, birth, and children than any sex ed class ever did. I’m simultaneously grateful to them and occasionally horrified by something I learn from them. They’ve become essential to my preparation for future children and have occasionally helped me succeed at my job.

It feels wrong to put a picture of a baby I don't even know on my blog. But how freaking cute is this stock photo baby? I couldn't resist.
It feels wrong to put a picture of a baby I don’t even know on my blog. But how freaking cute is this stock photo baby? I couldn’t resist.

Here are a couple things I’ve learned, thanks to the mommy bloggers out there:

Get the epidural. No hesitation. Sure, natural birth and all that might be “beautiful” and “better for the baby” (Is it? I have no idea) but no freaking way is that happening.

Babies are basically accessories. Wear them. And don’t even get me started on men wearing babies. I can’t handle how much I love watching N walk the dog, let alone carrying a baby. I have never seen him hold a baby but I imagine I will die when it happens.

Babies give you a lot to blog about, but that doesn’t mean anyone wants to read about your cracked nipples. I mean, I appreciate the honesty, I really do. But can we just never use those two words together again?

Babies need a lot of stuff. Every time I see a collage by a mommy blogger of what’s in their hospital bag, I am stunned. All that just for the hospital? What’s even left at home? I really thought you needed a crib, some diapers, onesies, and something to swaddle the kid in. At least at first. But nope. Turns out, you need a boppy, breast pump, a video monitor, convertible stroller, 47 million other things, and at least three kinds of baby wraps. So you can do all the things, while your baby makes you look fashionable.

Mommy bloggers get the most free stuff. Aside from fashion bloggers, it seems mommy bloggers are raking in the freebies. If only this applied to mommy’s of golden retrievers.

Every baby topic is a polarizing issue. Co-sleeping? You can bet that the comments will swing from “best thing ever, for us and the baby” to “oh my gosh you are going to kill your child”. You’ve decided not to breast-feed? All the judgement. You want to be a stay-at-home Mom? Or you don’t? There’s someone out there to tell you that you’re making terrible choices. There’s so much “I’m right, you’re wrong” in parenting world that I think I’ll just stick my fingers in my ears and go “la la la la la can’t hear you” when the time comes.

If your baby is a girl, a headband must be on her head at all times. It’s a requirement. And while we’re at it, babygirl better be sleeping in, under, or next to a monogram of her initials. Or all three.

On that note, just expect that in 5 years or so, I’ll be wearing my baby in some baby wrap while she wears a fashionable headband, and blogging on the daily about motherhood. I’m not even ashamed to admit that you can totally count me in for the future mommy bloggers club.

xo, Nadine

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  • I love this! Baby blogs are the reason I got in to blogging way back when! Now I’ve got one on the way and I’m just waiting for all my free stuff! Haha! 🙂

    • I feel like all the bloggers I read way back when have since have kids so by default I became a huge mommy blog reader. It feels like I already know them so I may as well stick with them.

  • I’m not a big mommy blog follower, but I would totally read your mommy blog! Just imagining it puts a smile on my face.

    • I didn’t start out as a mommy blog reader but a lot of my favorite bloggers that I started reading 4-5 years ago now have children so I kind of became one by default. This blog won’t turn in to a mommy blog for quite a while but I know it’s gonna happen eventually 😉

  • I never did the big headbands, but I agree with the rest. I also think you should add this to your list. Not sure if you read it way back when… Hahaha!

    http://www.handbagsandhandguns.com/2011/01/something-every-woman-should-know.html

    • LOL. That was right around the time I started reading blogs and yours was one of the very first ones I ever found (we were both huge Twilight fans back then). That’s definitely something most people don’t know about pregnancy but I’m really glad I do know, even if it’s gross/scary.

  • alyssa

    I’m the oldest of all my siblings and my mom had me in headbands constantly as a baby until one day she freaked out that she was squishing my brain by doing that. Never got to wear them again.

    • That is the exact reason my Mom didn’t let me wear headbands. She also never allowed me to wear pig tails in my hair either, because she thinks they look stupid. I can’t wait til my future daughter rocks pig tails daily. lol

  • Mommys put their girls in headbands 24/7 because if you don’t everyone will assume it’s a boy. Yesterday, my daughter was wearing fashion boots, pink pants, green striped hoodie (okay yes, from the boys section), and a pink winter coat and she was STILL called a boy.

    Going along with the ‘babies give you a lot to blog about’… after giving birth, something happens to your filter of what is appropriate to talk about and what isn’t, so talking about cracked nipples suddenly feels like something appropriate to talk about.

    • I work with kids so I just generally don’t use any pronouns unless I have the gender on a report directly in front of me. Obviously the baby doesn’t care but I never want to annoy the parents. I will say that from seeing tons of babies every day, they really do look all the same – you can’t tell at all.

      And honestly, I’ve been waiting my whole life to lose my filter. I can’t wait til I’m an old lady and it’s just accepted that I’m going to say ridiculous stuff. Let’s hope that I’m not that extreme when I’m a Mom.

  • I enjoyed this one!! I’m headed into my 23rd week and am having my first baby (a girl) in July. She will definitely be worn with a wrap on me with all the headbands!! And her daddy has his own baby carrier picked out so he can wear her too.

    I won’t mention the cracked nipples if I ever get to that point – but it is definitely a whole new world and one that I’ve definitely fallen in love with already!!

    AND…. if you think you know what you need to know about babies now.. JUST WAIT until you download the What to Expect App and get on the forums and go through your pregnancy with hundreds of other women due in the same month as you. You’ll all go through miscarriage scares together, anatomy scans, gestational diabetes testing, etc. The difference?? Many women are quite hormonal and not afraid to show it #nofilter!

    • I’ve heard to forums are really scary to Moms and it makes me worried that I’d wind up super duper paranoid (something I could totally see happening). I’m sure I’ll dive right in when the time comes (because obviously I love online communities) but I’ll be careful not to get too sucked in.

  • Haha, I love that last one. My sister was just complaining to me that people call her baby a boy even if she’s wearing all pink. And wow, the stuff. If I ever spawn, I want to not have my life revolve around baby stuff.

    • I agree. I hope our house isn’t taken over by babies someday. It seems inevitable that it happens but every once and a while, I meet parents who have been super intentional about things and manage to have a very normal, not child-centric home. Fingers crossed that’s us.

  • I love this! I strongly believe that my blog will be more successful once we have a baby. Babies are everywhere! haha

    • I often wonder how the transition to mommy blogger goes for people. Pregnancy kind of gives readers time to prepare but obviously kid stuff is going to turn some readers off but will attract some new readers.

  • I’ve been asked if my blog is going to turn into a “mommy blog” once our baby girl is born. Mommy blogs have their place (I love many!), but I don’t see that happening with me. But who knows!!! Apparently, being a blogger and becoming a mom do something to your brain. Maybe becoming a mommy blogger is entirely unavoidable…

    • I feel like a lot of bloggers insist that it won’t be a mommy blog but it’s hard to do when you get offers for free stuff or more sponsored post opportunities for kid stuff. I also feel like there is a point when babies are little that they run your life a bit and therefore your brain (to some extent).

  • Oh my goodness, yes, very interesting and also very alarming and I could not agree more about the polarizing issues!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

    • It always makes me sad when I read a blog post from a mom and then she gets attacked in the comments over her choices. But it happens.

  • We no longer live in villages and are each isolated within our own little family unit, this has resulted in women who have zero prior experience of caring for a baby finding themselves at home with a new baby and no mother/sisters/aunts around to help them adjust. I think the blogging community provides that village for many mommy bloggers. It’s certainly saving my sanity as I sit at home surrounded by baby accessories and wearing my sleeping 11 week old 🙂

    • I totally think that blogs and online chat rooms are the new villages for moms. I’m grateful that there are so many other women putting resources out there to prepare us all.

  • Love this! Writing a post about a topic you know nothing about yet hitting the nail right on the head haha I personally tend to talk about shitting and wieners than headbands though since I am surrounded by boys. I don’t consider myself a mommy blog since I talk about hair, makeup, wedding, house, DIY and the list goes on. Although my most read post are mommy/kid related I don’t feel compelled to just talk about the little humans.

    and yes. GET.THE.EPIDURAL. (read my Skylor birth post and you will see why haha)

    Chelsea | East Willow Grove

    • The only stuff I know about pregnancy, birth, and motherhood is really from bloggers. I’m grateful they’ve prepared me. It does seem like mommy blogging is such a huge genre of blogging and it doesn’t surprise me that they are your most popular posts. They are helpful to other moms and future moms (like me, someday) are curious about how things work.

  • I’m not even ashamed to admit that I got sooo giddy reading this. I without a doubt know that some day I, in fact will become a blogger mommy. Cute post!
    xoxo
    http://brookiewords.blogspot.com/

  • LOVE this post! So funny and so true! I’ll also be in that club eventually so, see you there 😉 xx

  • Moe

    I really enjoy reading the mommy blogs but I have a mixed feelings if I want to join the club in the future or not. I think it’s such a great way to document and look back on their development later on but at the same time, it’s kind of freaky knowing that the whole world has the potential to know every thing about your kid! I think it’s still too early for me do be deciding about that club membership right now, so I’ll probably worry about it when the time comes.

  • LOL! Funny that you posted this and I posted “THREE must haves for baby”. :]

  • Hahaha, my friends get SO weirded out when I mention Sophie the giraffe, or the best lotion for stretch marks, or so-and-so’s birth story… oh well, I’m going to be SO much more prepared than all of them… in like 10 years HA.

  • I love this! As a pregnant gal I definitely feel like I’ve learned a ton from mommy bloggers. Some stuff that is super useful and other stuff that is completely terrifying!

  • As a new mom, and as someone who has inevitably pretty much become a “mommy blogger,” by default (see your point #3), I love this list! I try to keep it real on my corner of the blogosphere, so I am probably guilty of using the phrase “cracked nipples” — I know for a fact I used those words in an Instagram caption…thankfully I did not go so far as to post with a photo of said monstrosity. BUT…where’s my free shit? What’s a mom gotta do? 🙂

  • Yeah I am with you, we can learn so much from blogging and mummy bloggers do seem to get a lot of stuff

  • Hah, my aunt was bugging me about having kids last summer and saying “it’s never the ‘right time,’ you just need to let it happen” and my response was “Well, until we can move into a bigger place, it’s not happening, because as I understand it, babies are small, but they come with a lot of STUFF and there’s just no way we can fit all that in our one-bedroom.” Like, seriously, the kid would be in a box and left naked with a blanket. That’s all I have room for.

    And I confess I tend to stop following blogs (not always! but more often than not) once the blogger gets pregnant because I just do not care about weekly pregnancy updates and then the non-stop onslaught of baby photos and “omg I’m soooo tired, I haven’t slept/showered/eaten/put on makeup/left the house in three months BUT I LOVE MY BABY SHE’S THE MOST PERFECT EVER” posts. Right now, I *swear* that I won’t overshare pregnancy or baby updates when I start baby-making, but who knows what’ll happen.

  • Steph

    So babies are still very much in our future…way in the future, but I started a secret baby board on Pinterest and pinned this website https://benditlikebecker.wordpress.com/2013/06/03/the-minimalists-field-guide-to-baby-crap/

    It’s about the actual essentials for having a baby. I’ve always been confused about why such a little person needs so much stuff, and this made me feel so much better about bringing a little person into our little home.

  • Haha, this is so, so accurate. Also. Fun fact. I have an unhealthy addiction to reading birth stories. For no real reason since I’m not a huuuuge fan of children (yet?).

  • This is so funny! My pointers, though…

    1. Skip the epidural. Labour ends eventually, and sooner if you can feel what’s going on. Also, if you *hate* hospitals as much as I do, it’s great because it means that you get to leave.

    2. Check before trying to dry hump N while he’s wearing the baby. For some reason, my husband doesn’t feel sexy when holding a child. Hmph.

    3. It was “nipple blister” that really got me. And when I actually got one, it was all I could do not to tell everyone on social media because it was so freakin’ weird. I was a bit perplexed by one blogger who referred to her postnatal labia as being like testicles because that never actually happened to me.

    4. I’ve had summer babies, so it reduces the need for clothes, but a cute handbag to keep all the baby accessories in is definitely top priority.

    5. I thought this from watching my mother! We had enough free Milton sterilising fluid to clean out the rabbit hutch for a year. Turns out things have changed a lot since my sister was born though.

    6. I don’t know if this is just a third time around thing, but now I’m just like “meh”. Or I’m too knackered to care.

    7. I have two big-headed bald boys. I am reserving the right to use headbands on my daughter because otherwise people will call her “he” all the time. I can’t yet articulate why it bothers me… But still.

    Forget five years, just get on it now. There’s never a good time 😉

  • Lol, this post is hilarious. I wish I had read mommy blogs before I got pregnant with my first. I mean, what was I doing reading BOOKS? Blogs know all.

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