10 Things I’d Like to Register For (But Won’t)

We recently received a save the date from friends of ours, which naturally had a url for their wedding website. As I have yet to finish ours (you know, other stuff kind of got in the way), I immediately hopped over and checked it out. Their adorable site (complete with a favicon of their dog!) showed that they’d registered at 4 different places.

As a woman currently planning her wedding, I immediately thought “oh [expletive]”. I have no idea what to register for. So I hard-core stalked their registries and found lots of nice things that probably should be on a registry. Then I clicked over to our registry and found 12 whole items staring back at me – including the game Bananagrams and a mat for our front door that says “HOLA”. I am clearly nailing this fiance/wedding planning thing.

Wedding Gift

Each time I’ve been asked about registering, I’ve said that I don’t know what to register for and have been told “You’re supposed to register for the nicer version of the things you already have. The stuff you’ll keep for the rest of your life.”

Listen, we have the nicest towels from Target (you know, from the line that isn’t RE). Those are the nicest towels I care to have. My butt does not need to be dried off with a $50 bath towel. It just doesn’t.

When I look at other people’s registries, I’m completely stunned. How did they know where to start? How did they know that they wanted 4 crystal vases (I don’t)?

So I’m back to square one, where I daydream about things we’d actually like to register for, but would be inappropriate. Can someone tell me again why honeymoon funds are “in bad taste”?

1. Toilet Paper Subscription Service. Why hasn’t someone invented this yet? I’d like 12 new rolls to appear on my doorstep every two weeks for a year. Yes, I know Amazon does this but it’s on a monthly basis and we have nowhere to store that much TP in our itty bitty apartment. Plus, nothing says “congratulations on your marriage” like the reality check that you both have to wipe your asses and argue over who bought TP last for the rest of your lives.

2. All the books I’ve been meaning to read. You know what would be good for our marriage? Giving me something to do while N hogs the TV by playing video games.

3. The really good dog treats. Because nothing makes us happy like making Archie happy.

4. Tickets to upcoming events. Doesn’t it seem like concert tickets would be a really cool gift? We already have silverware and super high-end Ikea plates (lol the $12.99 set) so what do we actually need? We want to do cool stuff together. To enjoy each other’s company.

5. Rollerblades. I have been pushing for these so hard. N is not on board but I’m telling you, the second he says yes, I’m putting them on the registry and not even feeling bad about it for one second. And hey, if someone wants to throw in a matching scrunchi for me to wear while I rollerblade, I wouldn’t hate it.

6. A super nice fake Christmas tree. Because…CHRISTMAS.

7. Archie’s little brother. Hey…who added that? It was Archie, I swear.

8. Rosetta Stone. If we can’t register for a honeyfund, at least we’ll be able to speak the language by the time we get to Italy…right?

9. Scissors. We don’t have a pair in our house. I don’t know how this happened. On that note, we don’t have a microwave either.

10. Super-Soakers. And I’m not talking the little baby water guns. We want the big ones. Like how about this crossbow one. You can soak your opponent from 38 feet away! Maybe this will just be an investment we make this summer instead. I don’t think I can wait until the wedding.

All this is to say that I’m not really sure what we are supposed to register for, since we’ve lived together for nearly 3 years and generally aren’t super fancy people.

I’d love some help paying for the honeymoon. I’d love a fund for a down-payment on a house. Heck, I’d really like to just have a really cushy savings account.

I get that these aren’t appropriate things to ask for, so I won’t. And we’ll be truly grateful for any gifts we do receive. I promise I’m not a total brat, I’m just confused about how modern wedding etiquette hasn’t really caught up with modern relationships.

Any advice?

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  • Registering baffles me. We don’t need more pots and pans, or silverware, or fancy glasses. Gifts are arriving and we actually have no idea (or room) to put them! A friend of mine who already had built (literally, they built it) a home together registered for excursions and things for their honeymoon. We registered at bed bath and beyond and Zola.com AND on Zola they have the option for honeymoon and future home funds so I did the honeymoon one (no shame in my game!) I mean….what am I supposed to do with the five ring holders I was just gifted after our engagement party for the ring I’m never supposed to take off?!

  • We received broadway in Chicago tickets from one of my good friends. I thought it was a great idea! They were like gift certificates. I’ve done that for friends I knew would like it, it’s fun to give a fun gift you know they’ll enjoy that’s not stuff.

  • Allison

    If you keep your registry small, you will get more cash. It is seen as the “more polite” way to ask for cash. Also, we registered for a really nice set of pots and pans, knives, and a vacuum and they have been my favorite things. You don’t realize how crappy your stuff is until you use the new stuff. It makes life much easier.

    • I’ll echo this- do you like entertaining? Even if you’re in a smaller apartment now, do you think you’d like entertaining in the future? It’s worth it to register for a few nice serving pieces. I got a few big bowls, a big platter.. all in white- so it’s timeless and goes with everything.

      Also, I’m totally not a fancy person either (no china, I’d just cry if it broke) but we got a low to mid range price set of plain square white dishes from Bed, Bath and Beyond and they are THE BEST. Sturdy, grown up, and I flippin love them. We had IKEA before that as well. You’ll think, “ohhh I’ll just buy them for myself down the road!” but you won’t. haha. I wish we would’ve registered for nicer knives, too.

      as far as “smaller registry=more cash” MAYBE. We did have a small registry, and did get a lot of cash, but if someone wants to buy something tangible they will. Even if that means it’s home decor items you do. not. want. we got a lot of off registry stuff. Some of it really really great (kate spade picture frame- holla!) some…not. haha.

  • I basically had all new stuff (within 5 years), but like the above poster said, I registered for things we wouldn’t buy ourselves… Like good knives. I LOVE THEM. And I never would have thought that. Same with my husband. I like board games, but we didn’t do things like that… and TBH, most of our gifts are in my hall closet waiting for our renovation to be finished (started), but we have everything we need to host parties and I’m excited for when thy day comes!

  • This was a funny list (I liked Archie’s addition of a little brother!).
    I don’t know much about weddings, and I’m in the UK so it might be a bit different, but I’m fairly sure over here people consider honeymoon funds to be more tasteful than asking/registering for gifts. Out of interest, do you know why people think giving money for the honeymoon isn’t tasteful? I know I would much prefer to contribute towards someone’s great life experience than give them more material possessions that they probably don’t need or will use once. xx

    http://thecornishlife.co.uk

  • You crack me up “Listen, we have the nicest towels from Target (you know, from the line that isn’t RE).” DYING! We are the same way. We’ve been together for 11 years, lived together for 5+, like we buy shit when we need it?! I do have to say we need kitchen stuff, we’re still rocking a combination of both our college things…yikes!

    I personally don’t think having a honeymoon fund is tacky but that’s me 🙂 I’m also totally registering for a DSLR camera, a trampoline for our kids and Lowe’s gift cards for a new fence for our house. Not kidding, that’s the shit we want and need!

    Chelsea | East Willow Grove

  • We didn’t have a registry, but we also got married at the courthouse with no guests. However, people still asked us about our registry anyway. We just laughed about it because we had been living together for seven years and already had everything people usually put on registries. It seemed ridiculous to want new versions of the nice stuff we already had– totally wasteful. Most people gave us gift cards for places like Crate & Barrel or gave us money even though we requested that they didn’t. As for asking for money for a honeymoon, I don’t find that tacky and I think it is becoming a new norm as more people are waiting to get married and don’t have a need for registry items. Several of my friends have used Honey Fund (http://www.honeyfund.com) as part of their registry, and I was more than happy to give money for that than some gift they didn’t especially want.

  • Kate

    I had a friend who gave several options. Two were small registries at stores, and one was basically a honeyfund. I picked something small from the registry, and my boyfriend gave a small amount for the honeyfund. I, personally, saw NOTHING wrong with a honeyfund. I wanted them to have fun, ya know? But then again, I think a lot of “traditional” wedding things are a bit ridiculous. (Wait, you want me to give YOU a favor for coming to see ME get married?)

  • Like Allison said, we kept our registry small and just included nicer versions of the everyday stuff we already had- We’re not fancy either so NO fancy china, but a full matching white set of Crate and Barrel dishes that we knew would get tons of use and that we would love for years to come to replace our hodge-podge collection of cheap dinnerware (7 years later, we still do!). By keeping it small and only registering at two places (C&B and Target), we did receive a bit of cash (which we used to buy a new mattress that we desperately needed- yay!) and gift cards BUT we also received a bunch of stuff that wasn’t on either of the registries and that we didn’t need… that was kind of frustrating and even though I felt a little guilty about returning what I could, I think I would have felt way worse if they would have just been shoved away in a closet unused.

    Come to think of it, I know quite a few people who requested money towards a honeymoon or down payment on a house in lieu of gifts… maybe it’s different in the South? Or, I might just be oblivious to the perceived tackiness of it LOL I think in the end, the people who love you guys want to gift something you truly want and need and will actually USE so, if that thing is money- heck, I’d ask for it! And scissors. Girl, you need a pair of scissors.
    xo, Steve

  • The whole gift registry thing baffled me as well. To make matters worse for me, my mom owns a kitchen store, so you bet I already had the best of all kitchen things. We ended up registering for things mostly for our bedroom(comforter, tempurpedic pillows, pillow shams, blanket box, picture frames). Registering like that gave people the hint that money/gift cards are more appreciated since that’s what we mostly got.

  • I’ve seen a lot of people do honeymoon stuff – so I think that’s fine. They’ve done it where it’s labeled as tickets for something they wanted to do on their honeymoon (like a show or museum or scuba diving, etc.), or dinner at a fancy restaurant they normally wouldn’t be able to afford, etc. I’ve seen a lot of people actually be glad to contribute to that.

    And your registry doesn’t have to be really fancy. I had friends who recently registered for the Firefly board game and some collectors books. I totally would have gotten them for them if they had been in my price range!

    My sister and her husband had been living together for a little over a year, so they had stuff, but it wasn’t all that great so they ended up having a nice registry. But I see it as a thing where it’s what you want but normally wouldn’t buy for yourself. I mean, I think a microwave would be a good thing to put on there since you don’t have it.

  • toilet paper subscription is GENIUS! you better get on that girl, it is your million dollar idea

  • Laura

    these are all great ideas! we opened a seperate bank account and asked people to contribute to our honeymoon. We are waiting till the weather turns cold to go and visit some far flung paradise.

  • Shelby

    Wanderable.com!!!

    It’s the most tasteful “honey fund” I’ve seen to date and I think it’s great and fine to do this. Experiences are what really matter and I think people are coming around to that. Add a smaller registry for the normal stuff and I think you’re covered.

  • You should look into Zola.com! Instead of registering at store-specific sites (like Crate and Barrel or some such), you register on the Zola site and get a “Pin-it” style button to add to your browser toolbar. Then, wherever you’re shopping online, you can add a product to your registry by clicking a button! It’s a great way to not get yourself cornered into getting only stuff from a few stores and lets you register for stuff you really want. You can even add your own items, like a dinner on your honeymoon or tickets to a show, that people can put money towards. My friend is using it for her wedding and it’s been great so far!

  • My cousin’s husband registered for a blow torch – and got it. Granted, it was one of those fancy torches you use for make like flambes or whatever, but one of his friends definitely bought it for them. She was very opposed to him even putting it on their Amazon registry, for obvious reasons.

    My thoughts? No shame in asking for what you REALLY want. 🙂

  • I had kind of a hard time with our wedding registry as well–most people register for a lot of kitchen gadgets, but since I went to culinary school before getting married, I already had literally everything one could possibly need in the kitchen.

    I chuckled when you mentioned TP, because that’s actually something my husband and I frequently give as a wedding gift–like, the giant pack from Costco. Mostly because it’s cheap for us, but also very useful. Especially because in our culture, most people get married very young and are pretty broke starting their marriage. 🙂

  • If the Duggar girls can register for Gatorade and a gun, you do you. I would actually be thrilled to buy my friends a super nice fake Christmas tree, because I know they’d enjoy it year after year! Same goes for concert tickets. In my experience, if you put only a few things on your registry, you’re going to get some weird-ass stuff that is personalized and not returnable. I registered for a ton of stuff and ended up bringing some of it back, which meant I had gift cards that had to be spent 😉

    Alyssa
    http://www.feathersandstripes.com

  • Registering was one of the most fun things about wedding planning. it’s like shopping but without spending any of your own money. I knew early on that I wanted new dishes and kitchen stuff. I had used hand-me-downs for years and I was ready to retire them. Jeremy bought his kitchen stuff from Goodwill, so there is that. That was the bulk of our registry. Most people gave us money or giftcards, so we could spend those on things we registered for. But it’s fun…crazy but fun!

  • I say put everything you want on your registry–I always loving finding something unique or funny that I can buy for someone’s wedding gift!

  • I had a really hard time with my registry. I’m a total type-A planner, so I rounded up a few “wedding registry checklists” (most stores you would register at have these, but you can also find them by googling it), and I just went from there. I didn’t register for fine china because I thought it was a waste of money and space. I spent many of hours on the computer adding and removing things from our registry. In the end, we still ended up with 3 microwaves (something that definitely was NOT on the registry), so just be prepared to take back what you don’t want and exchange it for the things you really need. Some stores even offer you cash back from the things on your registry that you return. Bed, Bath, and Beyond used to do this, so I would look into it and see if they still do. That would be a great way to get that honeymoon fund without actually asking people for the cash!

  • I think it is perfectly appropriate to set up a honeymoon fund! It’s becoming really popular and I think it makes sense for those couples who have been living together and don’t have any “needs.” Registries are from a time when we lived with our parents until we got married and needed help setting up our homes. Now that most of us live on our own, with others, or with a partner before getting married it makes sense that registries will be changing! I’ve contributed to people’s honeymoon funds and wedding funds and love doing that over buying a bunch of crap. Set up your fund!

  • Bek

    Put anything you want on the registry. Friends of mine and my husband put walkie talkies on theirs and we totally got them as our gift to them. They were so excited. It should be things you need or wouldn’t buy yourselves. Screw the “rules”. Also, the tp thing would be amazing. Sign me up!

  • Kim

    I don’t care if honeymoon stuff is considered not in good taste… I’m registering for it! I read somewhere to have a traditional registry and then a honeymoon one so people who find it “tacky” still have an option. I know I would LOVE to contribute to people’s honeymoons so I feel like I have at least some friends who feel the same!

  • I registered for stuff that I should don’t even use… 8 years later. Register for stuff you need and make sure you will use it at least once a week. If not, don’t register for it.

  • I didn’t register at all for anything. When people asked why, we told them that our apartment was small, that we had everything we could possibly need already and we were hoping to buy a house in the coming year so we didn’t want to have to store/move new stuff then.

    Most people (literally everyone I think) got the hint. And my parents told people, “Cash – they’re buying a house.”

    We got a set of towels, a piece of beautiful stained glass for our house, a weird crystal thing that I’m still not sure what it was, a set of new baking sheets and spatulas from my brother as a joke and well, cash/gift cards to Target/Lowes.

    One of my cousins totally registered for extras on her honey moon (dinners/day trips etc) it wasn’t well received.

  • bahaha, best list ever! I’d smile seeing any of these things on a registry! Esp the super soakers. But, a really nice Christmas tree is a great idea – I’d add that sucker =)

  • Erin

    I have definitely been to weddings where they registered for Honeymoon items & I have even gifted a honeymoon something or other- it was easier than going out to a store & having to search the aisles for the particular registry item AND I didn’t have to worry about gift wrap or hauling it in the car to an out of state wedding; because heaven forbid any of my friends in Ohio get married 😉 Also, if you’re in need of a microwave totally register for that shit! I mean if people can register for a $300+ stand mixer for the kitchen why can’t you & N have a way cheaper microwave. I say register for what you want & will use, plus just because you registered for it by no means mean you will get it. I’ve seen people register for tents, camping equipment, gaming consoles & who the hell knows what else! I just get a kick out of it all and laugh at them a bit in my living room while trying to decide what I’m going to buy for them. Then again, if you don’t think you can handle people like me laughing at your choices, might just want to stick to the basics. I wouldn’t even laugh at anyone wanting a microwave. I bought our(my ex & mine’s) 1st microwave with a GC I got for my college graduation. Oh, you could also register for gift cards from the places you’re registering at, plus if you add the random things to your registry some places offer a discount on unfulfilled items after the event date- then you can use GCs or cash to get the things that are left that you still want(think I may have mentioned that registry tidbit in a comment before…?) Happy registering for whatever you want! 😀

  • we didn’t do a registry. And reading this makes me glad I didn’t even look into it! Because I would have felt the same way. We did cash and put it towards our student loans. We told everyone we were doing this, when getting married your future should start off right. People were really happy with this. Don’t do the registry if it isn’t something you love

  • Three words: word of mouth. Tell your bridesmaids and your parents to tell people in a polite way that though you did create a small registry for the things you absolutely need (or want), that the two of you really aren’t looking for material things due to accumulation of crap you don’t need, nowhere to store it, not needing “nicer versions” etc. Some may see this as tacky but it is way less tacky than putting “cash gifts only” on your save the dates!

  • I’m here to tell you to go ahead and do the honeymoon fund. It is NOT in bad taste if YOU don’t think it’s in bad taste. Will your parents and grandparents think it’s inappropriate? Possibly. But they’re a different generation. Also, there are such great options, now, with honeymoon fund registries – your guests can purchase a specific date event or item for your honeymoon – massage for two, candlelight dinner, champagne, etc. – which makes some people who are skittish feel better about it. Just research your honeymoon fund site/registries, first. Make sure you get all the details on how much the service charges/pulls off the top, as well as how quickly the funds are available to you. It’s all good.

  • JC

    There’s a website that lets you set up things that people can pay for, like a dinner out for two, or a certain dollar amount the the honeymoon flight, or museum entree’s or whatever. I wish I remembered what it was.
    To help me come up with stuff for our registry I started keeping a list in my phone when I cam across stuff I wanted/needed. Our blender broke, so that wen on, I only have 3 wine glasses so a new set went on, I went to a cooking store and listed all the stupid little things like a had lemon juicer, and cute oven mits, and cool cutting boards that I like, but would never buy myself. Oh and bedside tables, bc ours suck. It eventually filled it up, as time goes by you think of things.

  • Wait, since when is registering for Honeymoon money been bad taste? I say, it’s your wedding, your day. Register for whatever it is you want!

  • I definitely registered for parenting books on my baby registry! If I could go back in time, I’d register for some fiction books, too. Basically, I would support you registering for books on a wedding registry 😉

  • After a September wedding, I definitely realized pretty quickly that nice fake Christmas trees are very expensive if you want one in time for Christmas. Like $200+. That’s a brilliant thing to register for.

  • Michaelrics

    Please remove the post. I accidentally mistaken section.

  • I say honeyfund it up! If that’s genuinely what you guys want to put the money toward, then anyone who says it’s ‘in bad taste’ is just being silly. I bought a friend’s gift off her honeyfund registry a few weeks ago and I felt so much better knowing I was contributing to her dream trip to Greece and if I had bought her something material that I knew she didn’t want anyway. Go for it!

  • I feel like I could have written this. For some reason, registering for things seems like a really daunting task. Although, I haven’t heard anyone tell me that doing the honey fund is in bad taste, so I say go for it. Keith is planning on registering for an Xbox and I’m all excited for spatulas and new measuring cups. I really don’t want to register for super nice things because I’ll be afraid of ruining them. My mom got me 3 nice cutting boards for Christmas and they’re still in the plastic because I don’t want to mess them up. Same with dish towels… I have at least 3 packs of 2 or 3 still in the packaging because I don’t want to get them dirty. I’m like those people who have really nice furniture but they keep it covered in blankets and plastic wrap so it doesn’t get messed up.

    I realize this was probably 0% helpful and I’m sorry about that. But you should totally register for the honey fund.

  • I have NO idea how people come up with their lists but I really like yours!

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  • I think super soakers and a Christmas tree are legit registry items.

  • Kate Ann

    The problem is if you don’t register, you could end up getting a bunch of random stuff that you really don’t want because people will have no guidance of your taste,needs,etc. but they want to bring a gift anyway. You also don’t want to have to go to multiple/random places to try to return things. My advice is to register at one or two places, then return everything you don’t want and get the cash for your honey fund. If you register at target, you can get the tree, super soakers, rollerblades, Rosetta Stone, and nice treats for Archie. Good luck!

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