10 Reasons I Could Never Be a New Yorker

Occasionally I have the pleasure of working from our New York office. Every time I see the New York City skyline, it takes my breath away. It’s a feeling in my stomach, like magic. It’s endless possibilities.  It’s kind of indescribable unless you’ve experienced it but there really is nothing like it.

But I could never be a New Yorker. Here’s why:

1. When you smile at people they look at you like you’re crazy. I smile too much.

2. If I bump into someone, I apologize. And I mean it.

3. I have a crazy fear of being crushed to death by a falling air conditioning unit.

4. I can never figure out if I’m getting on an express train or not. Or what that even means. All I know is that I always wind up way past where I thought I was going. And that, my friends, is God’s way of telling you that you shoulda walked.

5. I’m no Carrie Bradshaw. I refuse to wear heels while walking around the city. Jorts, t-shirts, and sandals, thank you. But I’m pretty sure that outfit screams “I’m from the burbs!”

6. But on that note, it gives me a constant feeling of inferiority. Is this outfit not “New York” enough? Does everything I do scream “I’m not from here!”?

7. I’m cheap. A friend of mine lives in Manhattan. She has a studio apartment that has been converted into a three bedroom. Each bedroom is the size of a queen size mattress and they pay almost a grand each. Woof.

8. I’m still fearful. It’s the greatest city in the world and no doubt, America’s most loved city. That will probably always make it a target.

9. Archie. Manhattan isn’t made for big dogs. And I’ll never live anywhere that he doesn’t. After all, who would sleep on my pillow, cover me with love (in the form of dog hair), and constantly invade my personal space?

10. I’m a good driver. Every New Yorker will hate me for this one (including the New Yorker I live with. Sorry N!) but it’s true. I’m aggressive when appropriate, not all the freaking time.

But I’ll give credit where credit is due, New York does have its perks:

1. The mani-pedi’s there are half the price of anywhere else. I have no idea why, given the fact that everything else in New York is double the price. Whatever, I’ll take it.

2. Public Transportation. Look, I might have train schedule issues but if I lived there, I’d figure it out. And I’d get everywhere in half the time and it would effing rule.

3. Every single kind of food. YES. Get in my mouth.

4.  Investment bankers. Hey, if that’s what you’re looking for, New York is the place to be. Want a guy who is in his mid-twenties, makes 6 figures, and works 80 hours a week? Get your booty to New York.

5. The end of boredom. Remember last week when I got bored, freaked out, and bought a plane ticket? Yeah, that probably wouldn’t have happened if I lived in NYC. Why? Because there is always something to do.

I’m sure there are a million other reasons why living in New York would be super awesome and would suck, sometimes simultaneously. Still, I have to tip my hat to you, New York. You still give me those butterflies that no other city ever will. So for now, I’ll keep crushing on you from a distance.

Could YOU be a New Yorker? What do you love about the city?

YOU MIGHT LIKE:
  • Its pretty neat that from this I can tell you haven’t been to New York at lot which is totally fine. Because everything you mentioned about the place with being negative I don’t even notice it. Which is probably why I would move their in a heart beat. But then again I’m an hour away from the city and I would die to go their more often. And your friend staying in Manhattan for just a grand is a steal for just her room. My cousin is in the process to moving their from Brooklyn and his budget for a room just his room is 5k along with having two roommates who will each spend that much.

  • Haha, I’m not sure I could ever be a New Yorker. I think my anxiety would get the best of me and I’d end up never leaving home.

  • Oh me too! I am not made for city living. visiting, sure….but I need my “cheap” rent and less traffic.

  • Being from the south, I know I would never survive being a New Yorker. It’s too fast, too loud, and too busy. Give me a slow moving river and some beer with someone playing guitar by a bonfire. That’s my life.

    Buuuut, I wouldn’t mind visiting the Big Apple at least once in my life.

  • Upstate NY girl here. Thought about living there, had a job offer and even though I love trains! Love them! I turned it down. I get twitchy if I’m in NYC for more than 48 hours. Too crowded for this girl and I like to see stars at night.

    And as someone who has been to NYC many many many times, sometimes for a week or more, I can tell you that I understand each and every item on this list.

  • Sounds very much like Toronto. I said I would never live here for many of the same reasons (mostly the price), but it’s where I call home. sigh.

  • i am more of a visit NYC kind of girl as opposed to living there. but props to those who can hang. this betch can’t

    • les xifres sf3n les segfcents: 33 auetors i 31 autors. A Dr Read Good, no volem ser com la majoria de la premsa litere0ria, aixed que us volem reclutar per ajudar-nos a seguir pel bon camed, diuen

  • This is spot on. I live in DC and frequently go up to NYC to visit friends, but for the exact reasons you listed I could never, ever live there. Unless I had a billion dollars, in which case I could pay to avoid all the things I hate about NYC. But there’s something to be said for those cheap mani-pedi places. Even better when they throw in a 30 minute neck massage for five bucks. Makes me think the ppl working there must be driving into the city from ohio or something.

  • I love New York City. I don’t think I could ever live in Manhattan, but Queens or Brooklyn? I could handle that. I think my dog might drive all my neighbors nuts with the ranting and raving at random things that she sees.

  • My sister use to live in NY and I LOVED visiting her, after a week though I was ready to go back to my normal non city lifestyle. Now that my sister has moved from NYC I still find myself longing for a visit, just one little visit again.

  • Really how much are the mani/pedis?! That is really hard to believe!

  • I live a train ride away from NYC and it’s perfect. I’m not in the city surrounded by noisy people and over-priced EVERYTHING, but I can still easily go to the bars, restaurants and all that fun stuff (it’s under an hour away!)

  • I am a southern belle. I could visit it but I could never live there. EVER.

  • I couldn’t ever live in NYC either, and for the same exact reasons!

  • This is all so true! I lived in the city for a 6 month internship. I loved it while I was there, but it did have its drawbacks. I couldn’t get out of the grocery store without spending at least $50 (on cheese, milk, and cereal no less) but I could get a mani/pedi and a wax for half of what I pay in Alabama. It’s crazy!

  • Even though I’ve lived for years in London, London doesn’t stress me out the same way NY does. It’s not even that it’s a crowded, bustling city New Yorkers are just so driven and goal-oriented! xx

  • I could not be a New Yorker unless I was rich. I’ve always said that. I have a hard enough time stomaching the price we pay for real estate in So Cal. Let alone what they deal with. I love to visit. But then I need to come back home.

  • LOVE this!! You are point on about everything! I definitely THINK I could be a New Yorker and would love to one day but I know realistically I would never ever blend in haha!

  • I would LOVE to visit New York but I’m definitely not a city girl. I’ve lived in Paris for a year and that was so stressful!

  • Hehehehe – as a girl from New York I adore this post! I agree with a few of your points and I’m a born & raised New Yorker 😉

  • I can totally relate to this post! My sister lives in NYC and I love going to visit her there and there’s a part of me that would love to move there…but deep down, I don’t know if I could really do it? But I still love going to visit! xoxo

  • i’ve never visited but want to so badly!! i could never live there simply becasue I’m such a tropical-weather person and the cold would drive me nuts…oh and the fact that i like open spaces and might feel claustrophobic in the city hahahah

  • I hate NYC and everyone thinks I’m crazy when I say that. I think it’s dirty, I never feel safe and everyone I know who lives there pays almost double what they should to live in a closet. No thank you.

  • I grew up in a very rural southern town and dreamed of living in New York City based on my impressions from movies and books. I was even offered a job there out of college, but in the end my fears that NYC would not live up to the dream in my head, or that I’d be mugged/kidnapped/shot won out and I stayed in VA!

  • Well damn, girl. And here i thought I wanted to live in NY. I TAKE IT ALL BACK!

    XO, Samm
    http://www.dysfunctionaleverafter.com

  • i got bored the other day and started looking at plane tickets. i just have to wait until the 1st to buy it.

  • I could never do it. Nope, no way. 2 of my best friends form college moved out there and while they lead amazing lives I live at a much slower pace 🙂

  • New York is wayyyy to fast past for me… I wouldn’t be able to handle it! But I do want to visit!

  • I grew up 80 miles about of “The City” and absolutely loved it! It’s probably my favorite place in the US. I love that so many different cultures mesh there and there is always something to do (or not do). One of my college friend lives there. Let’s just say I would need to be rich and have a penthouse or single and living alone as far as the apartment market goes.

    ~Ashley (A Cute Angle)

    http://acutelifestyle.blogspot.com
    http://www.facebook.com/ACuteLifestyle
    http://www.twitter.com/ACuteLifestyle

  • I think I have a love / hate relationship with New York. Some weeks I’m like “Yes! I NEED to be there!” Other weeks it’s more, “Ehh, too many people.” I still have a tiny inkling I’ll end up there for a little bit at some point in my life. (The idea of being a writer living in New York is just too poetic for me to pass up lol).

    I think the best part of the city is simply the people. New York is the capital for creativity. If you want to get inspired just walk outside (:

    Zauni | The Kind Side

  • Even though I love the idea of moving to a huge city such as NYC….I am a true small town girl and I think I would be much happier living in an area where driving to the big city is doable for special occasions. New York isn’t my favorite city though….I love San Francisco and Chicago to death…beautiful and still so much to do!!!!

    xo Dinah @ Sunshine super glam

  • Love this. You have also just described why I couldn’t be a Londoner (I’m thinking its roughly the same thing as New York as I have never been hehe) Love being in the city but not from there and prefer living outside in the country. B x

    Theshutterbugblog.blogspot.co.uk

  • I go back and forth all of the time. I feel like at first it would take me awhile to get adjusted, but after awhile I would get used to it. Granted, I grew up in the Chicago area and I’m in love with city life. So I probably have a head start.,

  • Lol you are spot on about the smiling thing! Whenever I go back to Florida I have to switch my mindset to be friendly again!!

  • I’ve spent time in NYC and could definitely live there for like a year or two – but no way in heck would I pay all that dough on some tiny place just to be in the middle of it all. This is why jetsetting is a thing.

  • I couldn’t live in the city, but my best friend does… so does that count as living vicariously? Didn’t think so.

    BUT I could get used to having Shake Shack nearby. I don’t know how close you are to Dupont Circle in DC, but I regularly metro out there just for a Shack Burger. It really improves your life, I swear. They’re EVERYWHERE in New York, but here in DC we just have to be patient.

  • Jen

    I LOVE NYC! my best friend lives in Brooklyn nd I visit her often. My favorite place to be is the city. It’s so magical and scary at the same time! I’ve gotten used to no one smiling or saying sorry so I don’t do either when I’m there, haha. The subway still confuses me so when we do use it, she makes me pick the stops to see if I get it right. It just blows my mind how cheap a mani/pedi is yet their gas is $4+ and everything else is over priced. You’d think with so many people living there things would be cheaper!

  • I agree, I couldn’t make it as a new yorker (although 3 am pizza sounds appealing). I like to sprawl out and see the sky. Plus too much going on..it hurts my eyes.lol Whine much?

  • Haha I agree with so much of this! I could never wear heels walking around the city! And it’s so true about the mani/pedis! And they’re the best, longest lasting, neatest mani/pedis of any state I’ve ever lived in or been to!

  • oh goodness, i LOVE visiting new york…but i also LOVE leaving. the first time i visited was in the middle of winter (horrible idea), the next was in the middle of summer (worse idea). maybe if i just pick the right time of year to go i would love it

  • Oh man, this post is so true! I lived on governors island for 4 years and it was the PERFECT mix. You basically lived in a small town but just a ferry ride away from the city. And I totally agree about the dog. We are currently house hunting and I won’t lie – we are basing a lot of our decisions on the yard space for the dogs. It’s also why we’re looking for houses and not a super awesome condo in the city. I’d be all over that if it weren’t for the dogs! (Raleigh, not NYC. Too busy for me to live there)

  • my nyc feelings are kinda the same – i love the good stuff (especially cheap mani pedis!) but the cost of living is so high. it’s also tough weather-wise most parts of the year – you’re either sweating like crazy or freezing a lot. i have similar weather around me, but i also don’t have to walk most places.

  • Ha. First time commenting here. This post and most of the responses are hilarious. I think a lot of people think NYC is all louud and flashy. I’m from a small town outside of Buffalo. I’ve always loved the city life be it NYC,DC,LA. I’ve lived in suburban NY for college,Houston,Richmond and DC. I love DC and will probably move back but it’s going to be hard living this bitch of a city. I live in Brooklyn and only have a 16minute commute to NYC(closer than most that live in Manhattan). The funny thing is I live in the most trendiest part of Brooklyn with a nice sized apt cheaper than when I lived in DC. Not everything has to be Louis Vuitton and Prada. In NYC if you buy clothes or shoes less than $110 there is no sales tax. A lot of the hotels are cheaper than DC. Hell, i live on a tree lined street, 3 blocks away from Prospect Park and have some of the best restaurants close to me. Food tax is cheaper here than in DC. Everything about NYC isn’t fast paced, people not speaking. NYC definitely isn’t for everyone but I’m a firm believer if you can make it here you can make it anywhere. Oh yeah and there are several bars that offer a great happy hour. Mon-Friday top shelf $3.75. Not bad for an expensive city.

  • I love NYC and visit quite often, and even still consider moving there next year. But really I just can’t get over the fact that $1,000+ gets you exactly what you said, a bedroom the size of a queen mattress in Manhattan. I don’t think I could handle that. Now Park Slope in Brooklyn on the other hand is a nice little tree lined quiet escape from the city. I’m more of a come and go type of person and would need to escape from the “go go go” mentality when I’ve had enough. But as much as I would love to “do it big” in Manhattan, I rather not pay to live in a box when I could have a huge beautiful house in the south by family. Decisions!!

  • I love love NYC and used to think I would love living there, but now that I’m older I know I couldn’t! The dog thing, the fashion thing, and the whole paying $10 for a beer thing? Nuh uh.

  • You definitely need to be in NYC more. You can do anything here on the cheap if you know where to go. The trains are actually really easy. Unless there are stop changes, then it’s just annoying.

  • I always thought I wanted to be one. First I wanted to work in publishing and then when I realized I wanted to work in Fashion/Corporate Retail I thought it would be THE city for me. Life happened, I got married and became a mom…and somehow I’m still here in the midwest…living in a city which happens to boast almost 10 retail brands. So I’m doing ok….but I still think about it from time to time. Maybe when my daughter is a little older…and I’m offered a cushy merchandising position in the city.

  • This is great! We got out mani/pedis down and we can shop and feed you til your heart’s content!

    xx
    Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

  • i love new york so so much. but the only way I could even think about living there would be if i made a ton of money and I probably never will. I get nervous even thinking of moving to New York…I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

  • This my friend, is golden. As a former (aka FOREVER IN MY HEART) New Yorker, I have to agree about the air conditioning units and their possibility of falling on my head. Lol. But after living there for 18 years and never seeing it happen, I think you’ll be ok.

    Dude, the living situation is the only reason I’m not there now. I have two dogs and it is heaven HEAVEN having our own backyard and front yard.

    P.S. I ALWAYS wore comfy shoes while living there. Screw Carrie Bradshaw.

  • I lived there for 4 years and they were AMAZING years, but I had to leave. It really wears you down after a while.

  • I don’t think I could be a New Yorker either for the same reasons……..but then you and I are pretty normal New Yorkers are different type of normal

  • I lived in NYC for 5 years. I thought about moving back 2 years ago, but decided against it. It was a great experience to say I did it, but it’s too expensive and my lifestyle would have been completely different the 2nd time around. (the first time I was young and didn’t care how I spent my money so I may or may not have partied…a lot!)

  • After living here for 3 years I do have to say that for the most part when I smile at people, they smile back and when someone bumps into me, they apologize. I think when you’re in the super crowded tourism areas things get a little hairy but around much of the city people are as nice as anywhere. Also it took me FOREVER to figure out the express and local trains, but if you look at the map the little circles at the stops are different colors depending on if a line stops there or not. I can’t help you with the falling air conditioner unit thing though because that freaks me out too!

  • I haven’t been to New york but I think I’m similar to what you were saying about smiling too much, apologising for bumping into people HOWEVER, it is on my list and I’ll visit one day soon

    x Natalie

    http://coraltintedperceptions.blogspot.com

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